Why do parents ask me this question?
Your kid is not the only one sitting around the house doing nothing. A lot of kids lack drive and ambition. Many, to some degree will probably go through a similar phase in there 20’s. It’s the natural progression of development - the transition from adolescent into adulthood, and some kids have a difficult time with it.I know - nobody wants to see their kid sitting around the house being lazy after quitting a number of jobs or dropping out of school. It’s a tough thing to swallow and it pokes holes into what you believe about your parenting skills. You’ve done an excellent job. Its not your fault it’s just the natural progression of development, so don’t worry. They have enough pressure as it is, they don’t need your insecurities too.
Right now they are developing skills to cope with personal and professional connections, love and parenting skills. It’s a lot to figure out. In the previous phase they developed their identity. If for whatever reason they weren’t able to develop the acceptance of oneself then the phase they are in now poses a great challenge. Its like asking a grade 1 kid to do grade 2 math. If the kid wasn’t taught basic math skills, it is unlikely he will do well .
This is the challenge your kid faces today. So they feel anxious, stressed out, inadequate and not good enough, and some say they feel like complete failures. With this mindset their self-confidence is shot so there is no reason for them to get off the couch.
The key is to identify and foster their natural strength or passion. Everyone has something. Find and develop it - enroll them into programs and support them. And if for whatever reason they fall off the wagon, its okay – no big deal, it just wasn’t the right one. Sooner or later they will find the right one.
With the proper support and encouragement they will not only get off the couch they will be motivated to succeed beyond there 20’s and into the future.
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1 comment:
I can really identify with this article! I definitely feel like a grade 1 kid trying my best to do 2nd, if not 3rd grade math. I'm glad you brought this up, Bruno! It's a reminder that I'm not alone—That I am normal!
There was one thing that I did expect for you to mention: Falling off the wagon may mean it isn't the right one, but it may also mean it isn't the right time. I'd like to know what you think of that. Cheers!
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