How Do I Get My Lazy Unmotivated Kid Off The Couch?

Why do parents ask me this question?

Your kid is not the only one sitting around the house doing nothing. A lot of kids lack drive and ambition. Many, to some degree will probably go through a similar phase in there 20’s. It’s the natural progression of development - the transition from adolescent into adulthood, and some kids have a difficult time with it.

I know - nobody wants to see their kid sitting around the house being lazy after quitting a number of jobs or dropping out of school. It’s a tough thing to swallow and it pokes holes into what you believe about your parenting skills. You’ve done an excellent job. Its not your fault it’s just the natural progression of development, so don’t worry. They have enough pressure as it is, they don’t need your insecurities too.

Right now they are developing skills to cope with personal and professional connections, love and parenting skills. It’s a lot to figure out. In the previous phase they developed their identity. If for whatever reason they weren’t able to develop the acceptance of oneself then the phase they are in now poses a great challenge. Its like asking a grade 1 kid to do grade 2 math. If the kid wasn’t taught basic math skills, it is unlikely he will do well .

This is the challenge your kid faces today. So they feel anxious, stressed out, inadequate and not good enough, and some say they feel like complete failures. With this mindset their self-confidence is shot so there is no reason for them to get off the couch.

The key is to identify and foster their natural strength or passion. Everyone has something. Find and develop it - enroll them into programs and support them. And if for whatever reason they fall off the wagon, its okay – no big deal, it just wasn’t the right one. Sooner or later they will find the right one.

With the proper support and encouragement they will not only get off the couch they will be motivated to succeed beyond there 20’s and into the future.

Bruno LoGreco Life Coach & Mentor

How Do I Get My Lazy Unmotivated Kid Off The Couch?

He Does Not Want To Do Anything With His Life

Two down with two to go…

The weather is still gray and gloomy. Thankfully I snapped out of my dreary mood earlier this afternoon. It doesn’t take me long to snap-out of, one of my moods. Put me in front of a client and I instantly pickup on his or her energy. I almost always could tell when someone is trying to pull a fast one on me. All you have to do is make eye contact and pay close attention to the body language. Actions speak louder than words and if you combine energy to the equation you now have a story. (NOT TO BE USED WITH AWARENESS COACHING)

Client # 2 today was a teenager. His mother contacted me because she was concerned about him. The night she contacted me she told me that her son had already been through therapy a few times and that he is a very smart but does not want to do anything with his life. She continued to tell me that Life Coaching was her last hope and if coaching does not work for him than she wouldn’t know where to turn next.

We scheduled a meeting for the following week. One week later I met with him and his family. Everybody in the family was very pleasant. It was your typical family with two teenage boys. I proceeded with to ask questions for the next hour and half. At the end our discussion I smiled at the teen and I said to him: 

“I totally get you. You think you are smart and know it all and don’t need me or anybody to tell you what you already know. I get you – Tell you what… This! Me and you. This is about you and anything you want. I think you're creative, I think you like to create and put things together. And if it doesn’t work out, Oh Well, Time to move on. 

Did I get that right? I asked. He looked at me and smiled. 

I meet with him on a weekly basis to catch-up and to learn about what he’s been up to since we last met. We also look over his business plan. Oh yeah… I forgot to tell you. He is working towards staring a business. He loves to design and he wants to start-up his own line of shirts with his own branding.

Since we started working together he has saved close to $2,000. Is writing a business plan for www.summercompany.ca, he is testing for his G1 license, and looking continuing education at Ryerson University. Not so bad for a teen that did not want to do anything with his life.

Have a great night!

By the time I finished writing this post I saw my last two clients for the day.

Master Life Coach, Toronto native Bruno LoGreco

He Does Not Want To Do Anything With His Life

Listen

I sit here thinking
Staring at my computer screen
Something to write something to say
Confidence comes to mind
Or maybe something about depression
Oh, I know--Today we write about teenagers
That atta be fun, but
Where do I begin?
What should I say?

I began writing about the next generation
When I was hit in the head
A daunting thought that carried me away
Away in the distance with not a thought of what to write
Then it came back to me
Oh what to write…

I started by saying
Do you ever just sit and watch your teen as they laugh and play
Have you ever stopped and listened to what they have to say
There is so much you could learn
There is so much they need to say
But only If you stop and listen
To the words they use as they laugh and play

Taken by the shiny light
I lost my thought and went off to play
Oh that’s right -- I’m sorry for getting carried away
That does happen when I’m taken away
So let me get back to what I was saying

Life is so confusing in this stage of the game
All I want to know is that everything will be okay
And when I do make a mistake
Please don’t get mad at me
Instead tell me you love me
And that everything will be okay

There is so much going on and so much I want to say
But I need you to stop and listen to what I have to say
If you listen today but not tomorrow
I’ll remember the following day
So listen when I speak and hear what I have to say
Because that is it for today

Listen

Teen Mentor Summer Program

Beginning in the summer of 2008, a new 10 week program will be offered for those in search of an intensive mentoring program that goes beyond the basics you may be familiar with from BrunoLoGreco.com. Starting on July 2 and carrying through to the end of August, this 10 week program will consist of 2 weekly visits of 3 hours each on Wednesdays and Thursdays between 9-12 PM or 1-4PM.

The Mentoring Program includes a complete Assessment of you and your personality and what you can best benefit from. Your individual strengths and weaknesses in business and in life will be identified and carefully handled so that you can work on personal development, based on those core strengths. Rather than focusing solely on your weaknesses, you will then learn how to apply your strengths to everyday life and improve nearly every aspect in the process, ensuring a happier, more complete life experience.

Communication is central to all mentoring programs offered by BrunoLoGreco.com and in conjunction with real world exposure to business environments, you will learn practical uses for your new modes of thought.

Additionally, you can expect a wide array of social skill development, a small bout of physical activity to keep you on your toes, and of course a light snack. The total cost of this unique, life changing experience is $1,600, with the option to split payments between both months. Space is limited, so get your application for acceptance today. Guardian or Parent consent is required, along with a waiver upon acceptance.

Don’t miss out on your chance to benefit from the affirming, eye opening experience of working with a Life Mentor this summer.

For full details, visit BrunoLoGreco.com a Family and Teen Coach

Teen Mentor Summer Program

Teenagers and Alcohol

Do you know the effects alcohol have on young children?

There is a reason why the legal drinking age in Canada is 19, and 21 in the United States.
Early alcohol consumption does permanent brain damage.

A Duke University researcher found that early consumption of alcohol shrinks the brain. The research showed that early alcohol consumption causes permanent damage to the hippocampus (the seat of memory). The hippocampus is part of the brain that is thought to be the center of emotions, memory, and the autonomic nervous system. This part of the brain is not fully developed in teenagers. Some say this part of the brain is not fully developed until the person is in their late 20’s, some say 25, 28 and even 30. The jury is clearly still out on this one.

Researchers found that when teens between the ages of 15 and 17 who have had 100 drinking events or more, results showed there was a reduction in the number of ways the teen approached problems (restricted problem solving skills), decreased attention, and memory.

Teens most at risk fall into these four categories:

• Parents who abuse drugs or alcohol
• Parents who are non-nurturing
• Peer groups that use drugs and alcohol
• Kids in transition, from school to school, city to city, or country to country


Alcohol Prevention In Teens

Here are a few ways to prevent your teen from early alcohol consumption. When you are trying to open the line of communication with your teen, be careful on the choice of words you use. Consider using “consider” instead of “should.”

1. Consider having family dinners at least 3 or 4 times a week.
2. Teens on average should be sleeping between 8 to 9 hours.
3. Permit thrill seeking, but safe activities. Teenagers naturally want to explore. Allow them to explore safe thrill seeking adventures. Racing bikes is not safe, but maybe skydiving is.
4. Encourage after school activities.
5. Talk with your teens about the effects of drinking alcohol.
6. Encourage after school part time jobs.
7. Allowance should be kept to minimum, less than $50.00 /week.
8. Be open and honest and have sex, drug and alcohol discussions and be objective. Don’t let your views get in the way. Create a drop box to promote openness.
9. Listen to your teen – They are not looking for advice. Ask questions instead of giving advice.
10. Respect your teen’s privacy. Have a reason to snoop if you’re going to snoop.

Bruno LoGreco Family & Teen Coach

Teenagers and Alcohol

Gifted Children --Your Child Could Be The Next Einstein

Have you ever wondered if your child is gifted? Not all gifted children show their giftedness through verbal, numerical or spatial reasoning. The ability for a child to solve problems in these three areas is referred to as IQ. The average IQ score is 100, which suggests the child’s ability to solve problems is comparable to those of the same age group.

There are two levels of giftedness with the traditional measure of Intelligence identified by Ellen Winner of Boston College Department of Education. Moderately gifted children with an IQ of around 130-150 that perform about one or two grade levels ahead of children in the same age group, and profoundly gifted children with an IQ around 180. Profoundly gifted children are more intelligent by the degree of knowledge but can also unaided figure out problems, rules of algebra, memorize entire musical scores in a moment, or discover prime numbers as early as the age of four.

Thomas Oakland, education psychology professor at the University of Florida, tested 1,554 gifted and non-gifted students ranging in age from 8 to 17 with the Student Styles Questionnaire, a measure of extraversion, creativity, decision style, and preference for order (reported in Gifted Child Quarterly, July 2000). His Findings:

• Gifted students are 29 percent more likely to have active imaginations than non-gifted students

• Gifted girls are 55 percent more likely to have active imaginations than non-gifted girls

• Girls of both groups preferred making decisions on the basis of values rather than logic

• Gifted boys are 28 percent more likely to prefer making decisions on the basis of values (rather than on logic), as compared with non-gifted boys.

• Although more girls than boys prefer organized styles to a more flexible style, gifted students in general do not show a preference for organization over flexibility

• Gifted and non-gifted students show no differences on measures of extraversion

One general finding: kids, gifted or not, do better in school when their parents and teachers understand their individual personality trait profile. Kids do better when their unique temperament is not only accepted but actively engaged in their home and school life.

How to Recognize if your child is gifted:

• A long attention span
• A preference for novelty
• Over activity to physical sensations
• A good memory for recognition of previous experience
• Early onset of language
• Intense curiosity, drive, and persistence
• Obsessive interests
• Metacognitive ability (that is, the gifted think about how they think and can talk about their learning and problem-solving strategies)
• Typically, the ability to read one or two years before beginning kindergarten
• The ability to excel at abstract logical thinking
• A fascination with numbers and numerical patterns
• Typically a more solitary or introverted nature
• A preference for older children
• Difficulty finding compatible peers of any age
• Twice as many social or emotional problems as average children
• A fiercely independent and nonconformist nature
• The ability to derive pleasure from work
• Positive self-esteem about their intellectual ability

Note of importance: Not all non-gifted children follow the same developmental story line. Many hide their talents until they are older.

Bruno LoGreco Family Life Coach

Gifted Children --Your Child Could Be The Next Einstein

Summer Jobs for Summer Students

What would you do if someone offered to give you $3,000 to start your own Summer Company? Would you let it pass you by? Would you enquire and ask more questions? Or would you fall in a deep daydream, thinking about your idea and how amazing it would be if you had the $3,000 to make your dream come true.

What If I told you that the Government of Ontario is going to be giving a few of you $3,000 this summer to start your own business... What If told you in addition to the $3,000 to start your own Summer Company, you will also get a mentor to make sure you are successful.

Still interested in starting your own Summer Company
What are you waiting for, spaces are limited... http://www.summercompany.ca.

You just never know who your mentor might be.

Summer Jobs for Summer Students