Human beings: Mysterious, intellectual, adventurous and emotional, white, black, brown, leaders, and followers, happy, joyful, stressed or relaxed – these are just a few characteristics that make human beings human. Although each one of us was raised in a different environment, no matter what nationality, culture, or race, we all share one fundamental need, and that is love.
Love is the single most needed emotion everybody everywhere in the world longs for. People search for love in partners, in spouses, and in family. Often time the search for love is mistaken for a need to be loved. Unfortunately when the basic emotional need of a child is neglected, the child is left feeling abandoned resulting in an ongoing and long-term search for love in adulthood that is often mistaken for the need to be loved.
The need to be loved is described by loneliness, misunderstood, and unworthy; Nobody to hold and to tell them “I love you and that all will be well” – Nobody to validate how they feel, but many will defend their feelings. How could that be, how could another person defend another persons feeling? Is it any wonder they feel unworthy – When will it be their turn?
The search for the love or the need to be loved
The effects from the need to be loved are profound and reek havoc ranging from sever panic attacks to anxiety for the fear that they will never be loved. Some will develop an inability to trust anyone. They fear that the people closest to them will not be there for them when they need them most. Relationships become battlegrounds fighting to secure the love they finally deserve.
Love is a fundamental need in every human being. In the absence of love human beings are left feeling unsettled, incomplete and continue the search to fill the void within their soul.
Cycling through unhealthy relationships does not heal abandonment nor fulfill your need to be loved. The only true way to do so is to start the healing process. The feeling of abandonment needs to be confronted and dealt with directly. This is the only path to true happiness. Only when you are ready to accept what is and deal with the imprisoned emotions will you begin to understand the difference between love and the need to be loved.
6 comments:
*ouch*
:-)
Hi Bruno
Great writing.
Can you elaborate a bit more on what it means to defend another person's feelings?
Thanks
Juliet
Ouch indeed.. (wink)
Hi Juliet - Imagine you were feeling lonely and sad and you expressed your feelings to Cornel. Now imagine Cornel saying, "how could you be lonely and sad Juliet - I'm here for you, I listen to you, etc.," When another defends another's feeling the person doing the defending is making it about them and not the person that is feeling lonely and sad. They are on the defensive. Did that help any?
love your post bruno (:
i was just thinking that you have not written a post about love yet...and here it is!
i've learned loving myself is the single most important foundation one can have in life...all else stemming from there will be positive...
I watch my friends struggle with some of this, and I am so thankful for my parents who loved me, although imperfectly at times. The important thing is I've never been lacking love in my life.
Ah, thank you for the explanation Bruno
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