Five simple steps to a new life — or a slightly better one

What if Woody Allen was wrong? This and other thoughts on the value of self-esteem

BY CHANDLER LEVACK January 27

eyeweekly.com

Five simple steps to a new life — or a slightly better one

How Do I Get My Lazy Unmotivated Kid Off The Couch?

Why do parents ask me this question?

Your kid is not the only one sitting around the house doing nothing. A lot of kids lack drive and ambition. Many, to some degree will probably go through a similar phase in there 20’s. It’s the natural progression of development - the transition from adolescent into adulthood, and some kids have a difficult time with it.

I know - nobody wants to see their kid sitting around the house being lazy after quitting a number of jobs or dropping out of school. It’s a tough thing to swallow and it pokes holes into what you believe about your parenting skills. You’ve done an excellent job. Its not your fault it’s just the natural progression of development, so don’t worry. They have enough pressure as it is, they don’t need your insecurities too.

Right now they are developing skills to cope with personal and professional connections, love and parenting skills. It’s a lot to figure out. In the previous phase they developed their identity. If for whatever reason they weren’t able to develop the acceptance of oneself then the phase they are in now poses a great challenge. Its like asking a grade 1 kid to do grade 2 math. If the kid wasn’t taught basic math skills, it is unlikely he will do well .

This is the challenge your kid faces today. So they feel anxious, stressed out, inadequate and not good enough, and some say they feel like complete failures. With this mindset their self-confidence is shot so there is no reason for them to get off the couch.

The key is to identify and foster their natural strength or passion. Everyone has something. Find and develop it - enroll them into programs and support them. And if for whatever reason they fall off the wagon, its okay – no big deal, it just wasn’t the right one. Sooner or later they will find the right one.

With the proper support and encouragement they will not only get off the couch they will be motivated to succeed beyond there 20’s and into the future.

Bruno LoGreco Life Coach & Mentor

How Do I Get My Lazy Unmotivated Kid Off The Couch?

I had to take care of things and act responsible, it was the responsible thing to do

Everything happened so fast. One moment I was a child playing, and in the next I had to play adult. It happened so quick I didn’t even notice. Looking back I didn’t get to do what most kids did. I had to take care of things and act responsible, it was the responsible thing to do.

I forgot what its like to have fun. I was too focused on being responsible. I tried to please too many people to prove that I could and I forgot about me. Yeah, I did forget about me. I left me behind many years ago. But somehow I feel that is still I today.

I listened to those around me. Some were encouraging and some not. I heard some stuff so often I started to believe it, its hard not to. Then one thing led to another, and to another, and here I am. But it just doesn’t seem right. I feel there is so much more – much more to be discovered.

I feel the child in me want to play. It screams, won’t you come out to play? I can’t play I must be responsible and I’m too old to play. Am I - Am I really that old that I cannot play?

We all have an inner child. It is also know as your “higher consciousness” “divine self” and a few other terms. It is the creative, playful part of the soul that is often left behind in a traumatic experience. Anything from abandonment to abuse could create a traumatic experience and leave an unhealed wound within the soul. This can lead the inner child part of us to react to certain situations, and block our creativity.

The process of connecting with your inner child and opening the door for it to explore these feeling and the world can change your life in unbelievable ways. The process is quite simple but for many extremely difficult. It means looking into a mirror and acknowledging your existence.

Below is a short dialogue to begin the process of acknowledging your inner child. Find a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed. You may want to journal the experience.

1. Look into a mirror and make eye contact with yourself.
2. Begin by saying the following:
3. I know I haven’t been there for you, and I am sorry
4. I want to make it up to you
5. I didn’t know you existed but now I know and I want to build a relationship with you
6. With time I can prove to you that I will never leave you again
7. You don’t need to be afraid anymore, I will protect you
8. You are safe to play again.
9. I love you

We are never too old to play. It’s the playful side within us that create the beautiful wonders we see today. Don’t be fooled by age and what you heard throughout the years if you feel it within you then its time to let it out to play.

Bruno LoGreco Life Coach & Mentor

I had to take care of things and act responsible, it was the responsible thing to do

Tag, You're It!

Do you remember that game? It wasn’t one of my favorites to play. I wasn’t a lean young boy I was a bit on the chubby side, thanks to the delicious lasagna my mother made. I’m Italian, and Italian folks feed their children lots of pasta and physical activity isn’t on the menu. The bigger you get the happier Mama is. So playing “Tag” was challenging especially if I was “it” because I spent a lot of time chasing.

What I hated most about playing the game was there were no boundaries. The entire neighborhood was a playground. Everyone out ran me so it made it almost impossible for me to catch anyone. It didn’t make me feel good about myself. I believed that I was the fat kid that couldn’t catch anyone. But I knew that if I just continued to play I would eventually be fast enough to catch someone.

I was only 10 years old and I knew that if I were to catch anyone I would not only have to continue to play I would also need to lose weight and get into shape. When nobody was watching at home I’d do sit-ups and pushups on the living room floor. I also joined the school track and field team. I lost a lot of weight and eventually I did catch someone and I wasn’t always “it” anymore.

I’m glad I was ‘it” and couldn’t catch anyone. That experience taught me many lessons. I learned the importance of health, to go after the things I choose and that it takes time and effort to achieve anything important in life. And as long as you don’t give up you will get what you set off to do.

But the most important lesson I learned from the experience is that in life we have choices; We can choose to do nothing and believe it’s not within our power to change or we can choose to do something and believe we have all the power to change. What do you choose to believe?

Tag, You’re It!

Bruno LoGreco Life Coach & Mentor

Tag, You're It!

A Worthless Life Overwhelmed With Responsibilities. When Is It My Turn?

The day begins early in the morning for many people. For some it starts by getting children up and ready for school. That means awakening them from a deep sleep, getting them dressed, fed, and out the door on time. For others it’s a dash to work but not before spending closer to an hour in traffic. And for many it’s both – dropping children off at school and then making a mad dash to work.

After a long day of listening to colleagues talk in circles and push paper from one bin to another, its another mad dash back to the school to chauffeur the kids to their after school activity. By the time everything is said and done its too late to do anything else other than get home, undress and hopefully relax if dinner doesn’t need to be prepared and the kids don’t need their homework checked.

Is it any wonder so many people feel goals are unachievable. Life is too difficult, as it is, to worry about chasing a dream. There’s just too much happening in one day already. The day is packed with responsibilities - Relationships, family, driving kids to and from activities and school, career, and a social life, and in the midst of it all the day-to-day errands. Its constant go-go-go from the moment they wake to the moment they lay their head down to sleep. It’s exhausting and there isn’t enough time in a day to think of anything else, is there?

Forget about goals and dreams for a moment and think about your ‘self-worth’. After many years of running here and there, doing this and that for everyone and never really doing anything for yourself, how do you feel?

How do you think you will feel after a decade or two of that kind of lifestyle? Yes, you do have responsibilities and commitments especially if you have children, but what about YOU? What about your responsibility to take care of YOU? You will be useless to all those people that depend on you if you fall ill. You need to accept that you are equally important as everyone else before you begin to feel like your worthless, or not good enough, or simply that nobody appreciates what you do for him or her.

Maybe you already feel that you’re not good enough and subconsciously believe those are the things you must do for you to feel like you are ‘good enough’. Perhaps you take advice from your friends, family and colleagues, that doesn’t bode well with your natural intuition and it leaves you feeling incapable of do anything for yourself. If you do feel this way already it is time you start taking care of you. You need to because if you don’t nobody will. And that’s a harsh reality.

It is time to accept that you are equally important as everyone else and to start doing things for YOU. Here is how you get started:

Three Simple Effective Steps To Make It Your Turn

1. Think back to a period in your life when you were not overwhelmed by responsibilities. How old were you? What activities did you enjoy? Did you enjoy things like art, sports, writing, meditating, improv, maybe you enjoyed things like building and fixing stuff? Make a list of those things. Try to remember at least 10 things you enjoyed.

2. After writing the list review and organize it relevant to your interests and pick the top 3.

3. Schedule time for YOU weekly, and participate in those activities.

If you follow these very simple yet effective steps, you will rediscover yourself. You will feel happier and those around you will feel your happiness and will be happy for you. You might even discover that self-happiness has a way of making life less difficult and more enjoyable all while making the realization that it IS your turn.

Bruno LoGreco Life Coach & Mentor, Motivational Speaker and TV Personality

A Worthless Life Overwhelmed With Responsibilities. When Is It My Turn?