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    Tuesday, September 23, 2008

    Weaknesses Strengths and Confidence

    I believe I figured it out! I think I know why my writing skills are not up to snuff. When I speak, I just speak and say what I have to say with no editing. When I write, I read and reread—adding and deleting words, creating a mess with words that are not needed. So this morning I decided to just write. Write how I speak with little to no editing, no JUDING my own words.

    You be the JUDGE, you tell me if less is better.

    Most people run hiding their weaknesses. I on the other hand show everyone what my weaknesses are because just like you I’m human too. I have my own set of weaknesses, the only difference between you and me is I’m not afraid to show them.

    I’m a firm believer that one should focus on strengths not weaknesses, BUT sometimes a weakness is the missing link in a strength. Take me for example; I’m a Life Coach, my strengths involve helping people achieve their goals and to live their dreams. It’s a great strength to have but unless I tell people what I do, how will they ever know? So I had to find a way to communicate my strengths to the masses.

    After researching my options, it was clear that I could either pay big bucks for someone to do it for me, or I could learn it for myself. I chose the latter and fortunate for me the latter entails writing. Although my writing skills are nowhere near where I’d like them to be, I know the more I write the stronger my skills will become.

    I had no CONFIDENCE in my writing skills when I first started to blog. My FEAR was I would be JUDGED based on my writing skills, but after 125 blog posts not only have my writing skills improved, but along the way I also learned that the thoughts of others could not hurt me. Even if someone did JUDGE me based on my writing skills, how would I ever know unless they left me a comment to read?

    Confidence takes practice and often time it requires you to step outside of your comfort zone, to do the things you wouldn't normally do – doing these very things expose your weaknesses and when a weakness is exposed so is the false belief that goes with it.

    While working with a client yesterday morning in a bookstore, I asked my client to ask a stranger what confidence is and where does it comes from. My client froze and said, “NO WAY, they will think I’m crazy.” So she refused.

    I looked around and noticed a mature couple seated directly behind us in the next alcove. ‘Excuse me’ do you know what CONFIDENCE is, and where does it come from’ I ask. My clients face turned three shades of red. She was so embarrassed--she couldn’t believe I asked complete strangers those questions.

    The man responds, "Yes’ CONFIDENCE is the thing that comes from inside of you, it helps you overcome your fear." The lady chimes in, “CONFIDENCE is knowing that you are good at something and doing it well.” I continued to ask, 'Could you see when someone lacks confidence?' The man replies, “Oh Yes, you could see it, they hesitate.” ‘Do you know anybody that is completely confident?’ “Oh no” says the man, “I have yet to meet anybody that is completely confident.” ‘Thank you for your time’ as I greeted them with a headshake.

    My client almost had a panic attach in the bookstore because I asked strangers what confidence is. I then noticed a store clerk walking down the isle. “Excuse me, do you know what confidence is and where does it come from? This time my client was quite attentive, she listened to what the young lady said about confidence.

    My client finally relaxed. I saw a glimmer of hope in her eyes. So I asked her if she still believed others would think she was crazy. She said no.

    Master Life Coach, Toronto native Bruno LoGreco
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    7 comments:

    jojo said...

    I think I could have asked a stranger what confidence is but i don't think I could have answered it if a stranger asked me.

    p.s. I love your writing ;)

    Sandra said...

    How bold! How confident to demonstrate your point to lead by example, how awesome. By the way, you have one of the best blogs out there. Your postings are real and down to earth. Everybody and anybody can GET it. Well done.
    Peace! :-)

    Traisas said...

    There is something extremely nice about this particular post.

    It is very well written. You got your point across perfectly.

    Baribabe said...

    Yes, i must say myself BRUNO ! u got you point across perfectly... So don't worry i'll be doing my homework !!!!

    Ciao 4 now ..
    A.S

    Mona said...

    your writing in this post feels "softer"...hard to describe...less matter of fact and more like just talking to you (: i like both styles (:

    i'm not sure i understand why you felt your writing is not up to snuff...seems really good to me...clear, purposeful, very good points.

    by the way, great exercise! reminds me of one that i did for a class where we had to go to 5 different people and ask them questions that we think they will say "no" to. imagine that! so i went into a pizza restaurant and asked if i can get a free pizza. then i went to a chinese restaurant and ask if i can eat the beautiful fancy fish in their aquarium. then i went to a store and ask the male clerk behind the counter if i can have his home phone number. i forgot the other 2. the surprise was nobody said "no"...they wanted to give me what i wanted but couldn't so they gave me really good reasons why they can't and apologized. that exercise was incredible powerful.

    Bruno LoGreco said...

    what do you feel is confidence jojo?

    Thank you for the nice compliment Sandra!

    Thanks traisas! I appreciate your feedback. :)

    Hi baribabe!! LMAO<-- You know why

    Hi mona - Thank you!! I feel as If i struggled with my writing skills from a very young age, plus I never really had to write in my career. I spent most of my professional career writing contracts. Very boring stuff plus it was a lot of copy and paste. So now that I am writing about my passion it's a bit different because I cannot assume what I leave out is implied like it is in contracts.

    I love your exercise - it's amazing what you get when you ask for help or anything. In my entrepreneur seminars I tell the attendees they should ask for help from the people they think will say NO to them.

    Side story - a few years back a few of us were in San Diego to celebrate the 4th of July - we ended up having one too many drinks and waited for the last minute to try and get food. The only thing we found was a closing Dominos Pizza. We knocked on the window after we saw the attendant closing down shop, he opened the door and asked if we could have a pizza because we were starving. He said sure. To make matter worse for the poor man, we asked if we could make the pizza ourselves. He said sure.

    NOTHING VENTURED NOTHING GAINED :)

    Mona said...

    hahaha, that's a great story! boy he was very accomodating (:

    how was the pizza?

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    Ten Powerful Self-Coaching Tips

    By Bruno LoGreco

    Are you living the life of creativity and happiness that you've always dreamed of, or are you allowing your fears or other outside factors to influence you?

    Following the path that your heart's desires requires courage and might require a shift in attitude. There are several methods you can use to act as your own life coach and start working toward the life you dream of.

    Ideas for self-improvement

    You don't need to change every aspect of your life at once in order to improve your attitude and outlook on life. Self-improvement can feel daunting if you try to change everything at once.

    A good way to embark on your journey of self-coaching is to make one change and see what kind of impact it has upon your life. The following tips are designed to help you improve your life and become your own life coach. Try out one of the following tips at a time to positively impact your attitude and daily life.

    1. Find some ‘you' time. Everyone needs time alone to meditate and recharge. You may think you don't have extra time in your day. Start with 10-20 minutes to use for meditation or silent reflection.

    2. Ask yourself what you truly want in life. Are you living your life according to your true dreams and desires? You may be unaware of your desires that lie hidden beneath your surface needs and wants, so take the time to find out.

    3. Write everything down. Even if your thought seems silly, write it down! You may be surprised by the inspiration and ideas you can come up with.

    4. Journal daily, but with a twist. Instead of just writing about today, try writing about yesterday.

    5. Keep track of the "happy moments." Each day has potential for many small moments that bring joy and happiness. If you don't make a special note of them, you may not even recognize the small joys in your day.

    6. Choose one task each night to complete the next day. This way, you have focus, and you accomplish at least one task. Tasking and taxing yourself with effort is important in reaching goals.

    7. Smile when you wake up. Smiling is contagious. By smiling you improve your mood and can potentially improve someone else's day as well.

    8. Give thanks each night. Gratitude will improve your outlook on life and help you see all the good and wonderful moments of your day.

    9. Try something new. A new experience fuels creativity and your enjoyment of the day.

    10. Create at least one memorable moment each day. Make each day unforgettable, even if in a small way!

    Taking the next step with a life coach

    Self-coaching tips are great ideas for helping you improve your life. However, you can take your life to the next level with a life coach and mentor. A professional life coach can help you set goals and help you move forward with your dreams. If you're looking for the right path toward happiness, a life coach can help you discover the path your heart truly desires.

    Want to learn more about self-improvement? Bruno LoGreco is a Life Coach Toronto and mentor. Visit BrunoLoGreco.com and find out how to unleash your potential for success and happiness.

    The Success Indicators on Your Life Path

    Many people seek out a particular goal in their life path and are content when they achieve it. The chance to broaden their horizons or learn new things within an existent structure is not as appealing to them as it is to some others. This is an issue that arises in many individuals because they mistakenly think they have achieved what they wanted to in their lives. The plethora of environmental noise around them begins to infringe upon their goals and forces them to lose sight of what they truly wanted.

    A good way to think of this problem is to envision a large square box. This is not just any box though. Rather, in this case, your box has been divided into three separate, but equally shaped rectangular boxes, all stacked on top of one another. Each of these rectangular boxes is a highly important expression of your life goals -- individual levels of success. Within each of these levels of success is an indicator that tells you how close you are to becoming successful in this area of your life.

    Every area of your life that you identify as a potential path for success can be further divided, containing the many different events and obstacles you will encounter as you strive to reach your goals. Think of each sector of your life as being divided even further, with three new sections within one of the three stacked boxes (sectors). Within each stacked box are three separate sections, divided by dotted lines that make up the life path you will follow. These dotted lines are not the same as the solid lines dividing the sectors -- they are a path that you have envisioned since childhood -- a series of goals and pathways to success that you want to follow.

    As young people, these life paths may not be fully formed. Or they might be crystal clear in our minds--long, straight life paths from the early days of college and adult living to the ultimate goal of success that you have always strived for. You can see exactly what you need to do to reach each success indicator and achieve what you have set out to accomplish. And you probably did just this. After all, your goals as a youth were to be successful in the same way that you saw thousands of others live their lives. You wanted to reach your success indicators and experience the measure of success by which you would measure you life for decades to come.

    However, nothing is ever as simple as we envision it during youth. There are countless factors that interfere with your ability to clearly see those success indicators and life paths to success. These factors, or "Environmental Noise," can be detrimental to even the most focused of individuals. Think of what would happen if you dumped the contents of downtown New York into your box and tried to maintain your focus on those goals. Would you even be able to see your life path anymore?

    Everyone must travel their life path with environmental noise inundating them from all sides. It begins to become cloudy. The dotted lines, our life paths, begin to look like the straight lines and the success indicators start to be confused with any number of different distractions.

    And then something will happen and you will realize that you are in fact nowhere near the original success indicators you set for yourself. Everything has changed and yet you are stuck in a way. You are deep within the center of the middle rectangular box and you have no idea which way to go or how to get back on track. The noise only grows louder and you grow dizzy trying to regain your focus.

    It is in this instant that you must clear the noise and return to the basic, almost instinctive mode of thought you experienced as a child. What did you want from life? Where did you want to go? What do you need to get to that point? What was my life path? All of these questions must be asked without the distractions of the world around you muddying up your thought process. When you can revert to a very simple perspective of the world and only spend time thinking of what you want from life, you can be that much more successful.

    You can succeed in life despite the environmental noise, cruising down your life paths and moving through your rectangles with ease, but oftentimes you need a helping hand to clear away the noise and look at life with fresh eyes. There is nothing wrong with asking for help to weed out these distractions and remove the clutter from your life sectors with a professional life coach.

    Is your life path inundated with environmental noise? Learn how you can lift the noise and begin reestablishing your success indicators today. Visit www.brunologreco.com a Life Coach Toronto today.

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    Top 10 Benefits to Journaling

    By Bruno Logreco

    There are countless reasons to maintaining a journal. The top ten benefits of journaling may differ from person to person. However, there seems to be general themes that are attractive in the collective unconscious. Many people are looking to daily entries of their personal experiences to reap some of the following rewards.

    Maintaining a journal is a natural way to exercise the brain. People who make regular entries are taking time to develop writing and communication skills that are very valuable in everyday interactions. This mental exercise also helps to allow your thoughts to flow freely.

    Creativity is a second benefit to consider. This is an important aspect of journaling. The right hemisphere of the brain is associated with visual, imaginative and intuitive facets of thought. When you take time to write, you free the right hemisphere. The ideal entry will be one that puts the inner editor on hold. Thoughts and ideas should flow freely and naturally.

    The uninhibited nature of this form of writing serves a third benefit of developing self awareness. People often create different faces to meet various circumstances. We tend to recreate in distinct situations including the work environment, the community and even when at home.

    The process of keeping a journal helps you recognize the various aspects of your unique personality. The growing self awareness is a powerful force that can lead to even greater benefits in the future. Gaining insight into the self is among the most important aspects to maintaining a journal.

    The fourth benefit is the ability to set priorities. Once you get a grasp on the thoughts and emotions that are filtered through your personal experience, you begin to gain control of them. The process eventually leads to a greater understanding of what is and what is not important.

    The ability to re-see the past is another great benefit of keeping a journal. The pages can be revisited with a fresh perspective. It can be very surprising how much your understanding of an event changes over a relatively short period of time. Some writers find great moments of epiphany when rethinking and rereading entries.

    Journaling is a fantastic problem-solving resource. The approach of using entries to come up with various solutions to troubles is a little different than approaches for self awareness and growth. Many people choose temporary brainstorming techniques that serve to give viable solutions to problems.

    The seventh benefit of journaling is variety. You can choose what kind of entries you want to make. Common choices include brainstorming sessions, automatic writing and reflective notes. Personal journal entries can be made upon inspiration, when you first wake or right before you fall asleep. Some choose to do a combination of these.

    Purging is the eighth benefit to this practice. Many people find it helpful to place negative thoughts and feelings down on paper. Once the negative energy is placed on the page, they are free to let it go. This practice also works well when dealing with anger towards another individual. Purge the negativity and work towards a constructive approach.

    The ability to communicate with others is another benefit of keeping a journal. Those who work with life coaches can find a wealth of resources for sessions. Journaling can help you tap into your fears and dreams, helping your coach gain insight through entries that you choose to share.

    The tenth benefit is improvement in your overall health. Journaling reduces stress. It provides time for you to meditate. The process helps to make the positive forces in your life surface and it helps to bring the harmful elements into light. The result of personal journaling is a new perspective on how you can take control of many aspects of your life.

    Want to learn how online journaling can help you reach goals and problem solve? Learn more about life coach Toronto at brunologreco.com and journaling at iijournal.

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