Giving life, reclaiming my own

Guest Author: Marci Warhaft-Nadler

I knew when I became pregnant with my son, that I would love him and do whatever it took to make sure that he would be safe and happy. What I didn’t expect, was how becoming his mother would also make me take care of myself for the first time in my life.

Growing up, I was a very confident, outgoing little girl. It wasn’t until I turned 17 that my life took a drastic turn. My brother Billy, who was just the coolest and most handsome big brother in the entire world, had become ill. His illness took him from me when he was just 21 years old. I was shattered. Feeling like I had lost complete control over what was going on around me, I turned my control inwards. I started starving myself.

It was easier to cope with the pain from an empty stomach than the pain of accepting my brother was gone. He had always found a way to make me feel special. With him, I felt pretty, funny and smart. Without him, I felt none of those things. Thinking I would never be good enough I tried instead to be THIN enough. As any anorexic can tell you, thin enough just doesn’t exist.

There were moments when I felt stronger and promised I’d take care of myself, but the strength never lasted.

When I met my husband I believed that marriage would solve everything, I had a man who loved me unconditionally, surely that would be enough. Unfortunately, his love and acceptance for me wasn’t enough to bring out my own. My battle with self-esteem and body image continued, until a couple of years later, when my child saved my life.

As soon as my husband and I started discussing having a baby, something changed in me. It was as if I knew what had to be done and was prepared to do it. I needed to get my body as healthy as I could, so my child would be okay. Amazingly, when my doctor told me that carrying a little extra weight would make conceiving easier, I slowed my workouts and upped my calories. It didn’t take long before I was pregnant with my son. For the first time in my life, I felt EMPOWERED. I was someone’s mom and he was depending on me to make intelligent, responsible choices for him and for myself.
I watched my belly grow and my hips widen and I felt beautiful, for the first time in a very long time; beautiful and strong.

Halfway through the pregnancy, life sucker punched me once again, with some news I was not expecting. My mom, who had battled and beaten Cancer throughout her life, had lost her last battle. I had never imagined becoming a mother without having my own to share the experience with. I was devastated. My family was worried. Their concern was that this incredible loss was going to send me right back into the madness of my eating disorder. But I knew differently.

I was a mom now. I owed it to my child, to my own mother and to myself, to continue on the path of self-acceptance I had started when my motherhood journey first began. The greatest tribute I could give my mother was to take everything I had learned from her and help it make me the most loving parent I could be.That love had to start with myself.

When I became my son’s mother, I also became a friend to myself. From a girl who never felt skinny enough, to a woman who loves her curves.

Motherhood changed me because I’ve stopped worrying about what I’m NOT and feel blessed for who I AM.

Interested in more information? Join Marci and me on Twitter for a live discussion on Body Image; Thursday 4PM EST #AskTheCoach

Bruno LoGreco life coach, author & speaker

Giving life, reclaiming my own

6 Ways to Quickly Increase Your Self Esteem

Self esteem is defined as a feeling or sense of pride in yourself. This feeling can come from doing a number of different things. Most times it happens when you achieve something you work for or you set a goal and you've accomplished it through commitment and persistence.

When you feel like everything is going wrong or you aren't achieving what you set out to do, this can cause your self esteem to tumble. Low self esteem can lead to depression, stress and anxiety, so it's not worth it in the long run. To get the boost you need so you can continue on and reach for your goals you will need to follow the six tips below.

1. Stop comparing yourself with other people. Everyone is unique and has different values and strengths. Comparing yourself to someone who is nothing like you is accepting defeat from the start.

2. Stop putting yourself down. Separate your thoughts from you. When you start down the path of negativity look at your thoughts and ask yourself if they are true.

3. Hangout with positive people. Positivity rubs off plus it isn't heavy unlike negativity which drags you down. The human brain is highly adaptable and can easily turn positive as long as the environment is right.

4. Make a list of your values. Review this list often and foster those values. Start focusing on your positive traits and you'll stand a much better chance of achieving what you wish to achieve.

5. Grab every opportunity that comes your way. Do not dither and wait for a better one that may never come.

6. Pump oxygen into your brain because it needs it. Incorporate 15 to 20 minutes of medium intensity cardio vascular into your daily routine. You boost your immune and lymphatic system and its a sure way to boost your self esteem.

Self confidence is the foundation for success. Everything you are and everything you do depends on your self esteem. Your sense of worth forms the basis of your inner stability, your outer personality; and fuels your performances.

With so many different things that can cause you to have low self esteem, can you find one reason to not learn new ways to prevent your self esteem from taking a nosedive? Don't let past memories and failures dictate your future. Replace every reason why you can't accomplish a task with a strong reason why you can and start today.

Want to learn more about boosting confidence and self esteem? Bruno LoGreco is a Celebrity Life Coach Toronto native, Mentor & Author. Visit http://www.brunologreco.com and find out how to boost your confidence and self esteem

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6127411

6 Ways to Quickly Increase Your Self Esteem

A Prisoner of Mind

Every day brings a new story and everyday is the end of a story. Breaking news from the world we live in: Mother Nature unleashes her fury on one nation. Global recession recovering, construction is climbing; Home one day and gone in the next. Uprisings and revolutions - Peace and war.

From one day to the next seasons change. Today there is snow tomorrow rain, a sign of an ending season. Trees blossom and flowers bloom changing the landscape from cold and grey to warm green and blue.

No one-day will ever be the same. From birth to 1 to adolescent years, young adulthood to the present time you learn and grow never knowing what tomorrow will bring. Guided by wisdom and experience much of life is an experience creating illusions of what will be or perhaps for a few, reality.

Stuck in a world that is forever changing too afraid of letting go for fear of what you don’t know. Look back; look at where you’ve come from now realize you couldn’t possibly have known – No, not until you were ready to know. Now move forward confidently liberating your mind to free.

Bruno LoGreco, life coach toronto, author & motivational speaker

A Prisoner of Mind

Polishing The Diamond Within - A Guide To Self Confidence

Self confidence is the foundation for success. Everything you are and everything you do depends on your self esteem. Your sense of worth forms the basis of your inner stability, your outer personality; and fuels your performances. Self confidence is not about beating your own drum or trumpeting your supremacy to the world. It is a quiet strength that comes from self-acceptance and inner contentment.


Self confidence:

• defines your self-worth

• provides a positive outlook on life and yourself

• defines how you acknowledge your inner strengths and weaknesses.

• provides the ability to accept the reality of your circumstances

• provides the courage to face your challenges

• proves your suitability for life’s tasks and situations.

• provides the foundation for happiness, well-being, and success.

• makes you more attractive to yourself and others

• makes you a better partner, lover and friend


To build your confidence you first have to know yourself. That process involves taking a thorough and honest look within to acknowledge the strengths humility may prevent you from accepting, and the faults that humiliation might prevent you from admitting. Self awareness is the only path that can lead to your desired success and beyond. Without it you are simply tilting at windmills following a quest that is both delusional and ineffective.

Sign-up for my newsletter at www.brunologreco.com and be among the first to read: Polishing The Diamond Within - A Guide To Self Confidence when its released.

Author: Bruno LoGreco Professional Life Coach, Keynote Speaker & Television Personality

Polishing The Diamond Within - A Guide To Self Confidence

Self-Confidence - How Well Do You Know Yourself?

Self-Confidence is a state of being. It is a feeling of certainty about your abilities, decisions and judgment. It comes from within you and nobody else could give it to you. Its knowing who you are and what you stand for. It is a combination of morals, ethics, values and strengths.

How well do you know yourself?

Bruno LoGreco professional life coach, author and motivational speaker

Self-Confidence - How Well Do You Know Yourself?

Do you believe in yourself?

Do you believe in yourself?

Who Am I?

Who am "i", who is "self"? Am "i" all the experiences; the pleasurable and the uneventful? Am "i" all the good which has happened to me? Am "i" all the bad which has happened to me? Am "i" what "i" believe "self" can and cannot be? Am "i" what "i" think and what "i" feel? Am "i" what "i" believe and what "i" imagine to be based on my history? Am "i" what "i" see in the mirror (likes and dislikes)? Am "i" only what "i" can see?

When "i" dream of becoming a celebrity but only to gain fame and fortune and to boost "i's" false sense of "self" confidence, one can conclude "i" has a big "ego". And at the other end if "i" is considered passive, nice, wouldn't kill a fly, one could generally conclude "i" is "egoless" and might have low "self" esteem. But in reality both the good and bad are egoic expressions based on "i" the personality.

95% of what "i" does today will be an egoic expression. Everything from operating a motor vehicle to how "i" responds to its environment. "i" relieves "self" from the automatic functions which "i" executes moment-to-moment such as the amount of pressure "i" puts on the gas pedal and to the breaks, while "self" has conscious thought towards the vehicles ahead and to the traffic light that is just about to turn red. "SELF" is responsible for the remaining 5%.

A true understanding of the word "ego" is all inclusive both the good the bad the nice and the ugly. It is everything including the saboteur who creates "self" doubt and the "self" limiting beliefs stopping "self" from new experiences and from growth. And it is also the unconditional loving, helping and caring person that "i" wants to be. It doesn't matter if "i" is a superstar or if "i" is a saint, whether "i" is shy and quiet or if "i" is loud and obnoxious. "i" is ego and that is what "self" sees.

But what if "i" had nothing happen; "i" doesn't have much of a history - nothing good, nothing bad, who would "i" be? What if "i" isn't defined by history, not by the pleasurable nor the uneventful, who would "i" really be? What if "i" is stripped of the status, the fame and the fortune, what would be left for "SELF" to see?

Who am I?

Bruno LoGreco Life Coach, Toronto Mentor & Motivational Speaker

Who Am I?

How Do You Know What I "Can" or "Cannot" do? Mind Your Business

I’m just about to turn the corner and onto another path. I’ve been walking towards this juncture for the past 3 + years. I originally didn’t know what this other path looks like other than I knew it existed and that I would get here sooner or later. I didn’t even know how long it would take – nor did I care. The best I could do was guesstimate and (dream) what it might look like.

The road here wasn’t an easy one. I had my challenges just like anyone else would have. I did hit a few roadblocks but I never gave up. I was realistic about my journey from the start. I knew I would face many challenging decisions that would result in gross errors. Oppppsss! My Bad. I took responsibility, apologized and learned from the experience.

Okay, here's the truth - I did feel like quitting - on a few occasions. Those were the days when I believed that I couldn’t do it anymore. "What’s the point… I’m done – working 9 – 5 is the way to make a living and it’s easier!"

"Who am I kidding” I’d say to myself, “I’d be miserable within a day.”

I never said no, not even on those days when I felt like giving up. I accepted every challenge with or without experience. In hindsight, most of the skills I posses today were developed by taking on challenges with no prior experience. I just do things and learn along the way. Sometimes I make a few mistakes and sometimes HUGE errors. Oh Well! Live and learn is what I say.

Even when people tell me that I have no business doing what I am doing –it goes in one ear and out the other. If I listened to people tell me what I can and cannot do, I wouldn’t be a life coach today nor would I be benefiting from the results that come from being in position #1 on Google. My question for those people is: How do you know what I can or cannot do? Thanks, but I rather learn if I “can” or “cannot” on my own.

It wasn’t until I heard a friend whose working towards becoming a voice actor say, “The first 3 years in the industry is a weaning period, those who are committed survive and those who aren’t won’t. Its how the industry knows whose who." And so I asked myself, “What do I need to do to make it through the “weaning” period?” My answer to ‘me’ “Keep doing what you’re doing.” So I soldiered on.

I got here because I never quit - I believe in me and I don’t let others decide what I “can” or “cannot” do. I accept that I will never be a mathematician, or scientist and although my writing skills have improved I still have a long way to go but it will never be perfect and that’s okay because nor am I.

Tomorrow I turn the corner. :)

Bruno LoGreco Life Coach & Mentor

How Do You Know What I "Can" or "Cannot" do? Mind Your Business

Did You Tell Yourself Today That You're Worth It?

Self-esteem is what makes you feel good or bad about yourself. It will fluctuate from day to day and sometimes from moment to moment. It really will depend on the various elements within your life that are constantly changing and how you perceive yourself within each, which will determine your self-esteem.

Self-confidence is an internal belief of whether or not you are competent to fulfill an obligation from start to finish. You might draw upon past experiences to determine your confidence, or you might use wisdom and experience to develop new confidence. Whatever your confidence level is, it could impact your self-esteem if you are left feeling incompetent.

Self-worth is the feeling of being “good enough” your self-value. It’s an overall measure of your worth, which encompasses self-confidence, self-acceptance, self-respect, etc. But, by the mere fact that you were born into this Universe, you already are worthwhile and are invaluable. Your self-value should be equal to and never less than anyone else.

Self-love is what you owe to yourself for being unique. You should be proud of yourself and accept who you are with your strengths and all your weaknesses, likes and dislikes. If you do, you will develop a deeper level of confidence and will feel happier about being you.

Your belief system is what controls everything. Self-confidence, self-love, self-worth, etc., it even controls your behavior – how you act and react to situations. It’s been developing from childhood – your education, life lessons, and wisdom together create your beliefs. What you believe about yourself is how you develop your personality and character traits. And those determine how assertive or aggressive, confidant or shy you will be in any given situation.

Self-esteem is what you believe you can or cannot achieve. Its how you feel about yourself and the value you place on your self-worth. Its how much you know or how little you accept who you are. Self-esteem really is how you perceive yourself, your own knowledge about you.

Boost your self-esteem and feel good about yourself. Make an effort today to tell yourself how worth it you really are, because you’re worth it.

Bruno LoGreco Life Coach & Mentor

Did You Tell Yourself Today That You're Worth It?

Can Harmony Exist In The Mind of The Insecure?

At the core of every human being is love. Everybody wants to be loved unconditionally by friends, family and their soul mate. But there are those who need greater support and validation – the insecure. These people often sabotage their chance at living a peaceful and harmonious life because of what they believe about themselves and their perception of others.

The insecure think about their dislikes and weaknesses more than they think about their redeeming qualities. When anyone thinks about their negative qualities more than their positive, they burst the bubble that houses their confidence, and reduces their self-esteem to rubble. The insecure often look towards their loved ones to boost their self-esteem with encouragement and support. However, even those words seem hard to believe in the mind of an insecure person.

An insecure person will mostly think about the negative aspects of his or her life. They replay past experiences in their head over and over beating themselves up for what they think they should have done instead. With so many negative thoughts floating around, they believe that their loved ones do not accept them for whom they are and push them away. It’s easier to push loved ones away sooner rather than later so that they don’t see through the insecurity and learn about all the flaws. In the mind of an insecure person, they rather distance themselves first before they get hurt again.

Insecure people with low self-esteem feel vulnerable in a relationship. They think the love they are getting from their mate is conditional and could end at anytime. So they sabotage the relationship so they don’t get hurt and move further away from the peaceful and harmonious life they long for.

Bruno LoGreco Life Coach & Mentor

Can Harmony Exist In The Mind of The Insecure?

Inner Strength The Source of Self-Esteem

Here I am! I disappeared for a few days because I am working on a number of different projects, which are consuming my time. But don’t worry, it’s time well spent on two books I’m authoring. The first book is “A To Z of How To Build Confidence and Self Esteem” and the second book I’ve been working on for almost 3 years, titled “A Time In Life”.

A to Z of How To Build Confidence and Self-Esteem is about the power to judge oneself and to think positively about one’s abilities and strengths.

Self-confidence is the ability to accept reality and face it with courage, being fully aware of one’s own inner strengths and weaknesses.

Success is a process of progressive realization of worthy goals. Self-confidence and self-esteem are two most important ingredients for success.

To build self-confidence and self-esteem first you must know yourself. Self-confidence or self-esteem is the only path that can lead to your desired success, and beyond.

A To Z of How To Build Confidence And Self Esteem will be available at my website www.brunologreco.com Friday July 17th. Visit www.brunologreco.com and enter your name and email into the e-newsletter form. Next week, when I release my book I will notify you by email.

And I’m not telling you about “A Time In Life” yet. What I will tell you is that I am almost finished with writing the book. I'm very excited!

So that’s what I’ve been working on this past week. And even though I am busy, I am taking time for me during the week and weekend, and I hope you are too.

Have a great weekend!

Bruno LoGreco Life Coach & Mentor

Inner Strength The Source of Self-Esteem

A Fairy Tale Fantasy Life

Imagine for a moment living a fantasy life. Everything in your life is looked after for you. The roof over your head, the food you eat and your day-to-day expenses are all looked after. Life is nothing more than fantasy – a fairy tale.

What’s a fantasy without a dream, nothing right? So your dream is to become a rap singer. You write your own songs, you even go as far as recording an album. You meet music executives and exchange business cards only to never hear from them again. You even meet with a celebrity music executive who said, “The chances of you becoming a professional singer are slim to none.”

The pursuit of your fantasy has come at a cost. You’re divorced and have no relationship with your grown children. You’re sad and lonely and realize that you are not getting any younger. But, because you never took responsibility for your life, you simply don’t know how to and you can’t accept that it is challenging. You believe anything but a fantasy life is too difficult to achieve. So you continue to live your fantasy life, believing there is nothing to worry about - you still have a roof over your head, food to nourish you, and a singing career ahead of you.

You must be clueless or completely oblivious. To never stop to think about what will happen if whoever is supporting you decides to all of a sudden cut you off. What if he or she finds another person to support, someone that is half your age and that is more attractive, and doesn’t have the baggage that you do? What if your singing career never takes off? What if you don’t have what it takes to be a professional singer?

What will you do, what is your plan B? And don't forget that you are 45?

Bruno LoGreco Life Coach & Mentor

A Fairy Tale Fantasy Life

You Lack Self Esteem And Seek External Fulfillment

Do you wonder how confident you appear to others? Do you have a strong personality that demands attention from your audience, and do you seek their approval? Do you have a strong overwhelming presence? Are you over compensating for something? 

What are you insecure about, what do you believe about who you are?

Confidence is to be certain that a prediction or outcome to a chosen course of action is correct. You will develop self-confidence throughout life, through encouragement, trial and error, and most importantly from experience.

If your willing to put yourself out there, you will likely be more confident, not only in meeting new people but in other aspects of life too. Confidence is to try new things you have not tried before. You will develop confidence when you accept new challenges, which sometime will seem impossible. Confidence is acknowledging your capabilities - arrogance is awareness to a weakness but still behave with certainty.

However, you can still be successful without confidence but only if you attempt to achieve something greater than nothing. With confidence you can achieve anything even without a natural ability or gift. When you do succeed at achieving something you once thought was impossible, you will feel proud, and you will be more confident for the future.

Confidence is many things including a miracle if one individual is 100% confident in every aspect of life.

Your self-esteem is made up from your beliefs, behaviors and emotions. What you believe about yourself - your capabilities, if you are a good person or not, if you have genuine qualities like: honest, kind, etc., these will all play a role into how you behave and how you express your emotions within an environment or a given situation. You will feel proud for succeeding at an impossible challenge, but you will also feel ashamed because of an insecurity you have to a particular thing. Both will determine your level of self-esteem.

Self-esteem comes from two areas: External - the need for validation, acceptance, and respect; and inner self-esteem, self-validation, self-respect. Maslow wrote, "Without the fulfillment of the self-esteem need, individuals will be driven to seek it and unable to grow and obtain self-actualization." External fulfillment is not reliable because it relies on another person to fill your need that often time will leave you with a feeling of disappointment. When you feel disappointed it will be likely to experience low self-esteem and could drive you to seek more and more external fulfillment.

Self-esteem, self-worth, and self-love are almost all the same - an expression of which you are, and it is different from self-confidence that is a belief about your ability to predict outcomes based on correct chosen actions.

Are you a confident individual with high self-esteem or are you someone who lacks confidence and is typically low in self-esteem? Visit How to build confidence  at http://www.how-to-build-confidence.com or BrunoLoGreco.com Life Coach & Mentor to register to read my new e-book on How To Build Self Confidence, coming in June 2009.  To give you a taste of what you can expect in June, I wrote a mini 9 page e-book you can download today. 

It's not perfect, but neither am I. 

 

You Lack Self Esteem And Seek External Fulfillment

5 Amazing Tips On How To Screw-Up And Build Self Confidence

I'm back into the swing of things. I'd lost my way there for a while, but now I'm back, stronger than ever, inspired by the potential and motivated to succeed at my new goal, which will lead me to the next stage of my journey - my ultimate goal.

Many people I encounter, clients, friends, and acquaintances look at me and believe that I am a confident individual. In many aspects of life I am quite confident, however I have yet to meet an individual that is 100% confident in every thing they do, and that includes me. Rest assured, each time I embark on a new challenge where I have no experience, I often wonder if I will succeed, but I also know that if I don't try I definitely won't. So I acknowledge the challenge, give myself permission to screw-up and set course towards success.

5 Amazing tips on how to succeed at challenges with no experience:

1. Give yourself permission to screw-up. Lets face it, not many people get it right from the start. So why are you any different. Michael Jordan was kicked off the school team before he became a professional basketball player. Walt Disney was fired from a newspaper because he lacked imagination and didn't have any original ideas, and Abraham Lincoln failed in business twice and defeated in 8 elections. So let’s face it you’re going to screw-up sooner or later.


2. Follow experts, they leave a trail. Experts socialize among like-minded people, often sharing techniques. Search forums, social groups, and networks that are specific to your challenge. Learn what the experts are saying and follow their trail. One of them might just inspire you.


3. Put your knowledge to the test. Experiment with the knowledge you gather. Create a test pilot and plug in the pieces that fit and continue researching the pieces that don't. Ask a close friend or family member to critique your findings and learn from what they say. Remember, you don't have to implement everything they say, you're listening for new inspiration to enhance what you already have.


4. Complete the challenge. Now put all the pieces you gathered together and present it to the audience. Listen to the feedback and learn from it. No matter what happens, or what the feedback is, at this stage of the game you already gained a wealth of knowledge that nobody can ever take away from you.


5. Celebrate the victories. Celebrate successes even if they less than perfect. You learned something new that you would not have learned otherwise. Be proud and pat yourself on the back for starting and finishing a challenge. By recognizing and celebrating even the smallest of victories you will be more likely to accept bigger challenges in the future. This will build self confidence and boost your self esteem too.
   

Here is another way to build self confidence. Visit How To Build Confidence by Master Life Coach & Mentor Bruno LoGreco

5 Amazing Tips On How To Screw-Up And Build Self Confidence