Despite the fact that many of us are quick to compare ourselves to societal standards many of us don’t realize how often we think poorly of ourselves or of what this can cost us.
Many of us suffer from feelings of inferiority in many areas of our lives. Whether we compare ourselves on our ability to speak multiple languages, our fitness level, our level of attractiveness, our ability to sing, our ability as a parent, or our ability to do our job, it appears that we can never quite measure up to others.
Although it is true that there are individuals (and sometimes a long list of individuals) who are better than us, feelings of inferiority do not originate from facts or objective information. Feelings of inferiority originate from our personal conclusions regarding facts. Our feelings of inferiority come from self-evaluation based, not on our own standards, but on society’s ever-changing norms. Many of us believe that we need to and should measure up to society’s norm, though hardly any of us actually do.
The bigger issue is that we have a hard time separating society’s norms from our personal norms or ideals. In fact, the majority of us no longer bother forming our own norms and ideals but accept societal norms as our own measure of what a person should be. As a result, we are destined to feel a lifetime of negative feelings because of our perceived inadequacy.
More importantly, feelings of inadequacy can be expensive as they serve as a barrier to our success and happiness. When we feel like we do not measure up to the person we believe we should be, often times we’ll believe we do not deserve or can’t achieve happiness or success.
To improve our level of happiness we must understand that we, just like everyone else, are unique with unique skills and talents. The ideal person defined by society is non-existent, fake, and often times shallow. When we fully apply our true selves we rise above this petty standard and we demonstrate the enormous amount of good we have to offer to our community and the world. When we, however, belittle ourselves because of societal norms we hold ourselves back from living to our full potential and from fulfilling our life person. This lack of achievement and progress brings us unhappiness and feelings of failure, reinforcing our feelings of inferiority.
To make the most of our experiences in life it is time to create our own norms and our own ideals we can use for self-evaluation. By doing this we set realistic standards with personal meaning. This process will allow us to eliminate feelings of inferiority that are caused from unachievable standards. The process will also allow us to express ourselves, our strengths, and our skills. It will help us to become the person we were meant to be while being blessed with joy, love, and success.
Bruno LoGreco Life Coach Toronto, Author & Television Personality
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