We all have one of those environments that we walk into, that no matter how hard we try to keep our emotions in check, somehow every time the usual suspects are together one thing leads to another and before anyone could see anything coming, emotions spew themselves everywhere giving everyone something to talk about. We lo-o-o-s-s-e it, then burst out of there.
"Why does that always happen?"The worst part about it is, when you reflect on those experiences you realize the big to-do, which left everyone with something to talk about, didn’t even resolve the question that was asked at the beginning. You were speaking about apples and them bananas. Everyone missed the boat - and the boat before that, and the one before that one too.
The trick to learning to defuse those situations from catching on fire in the first place is to become an observer. As hard as it is for some of us to do, a key skill needed to be an observer is to listen. We must sit and listen; watch on as others interact with one another, and listen to the many conversations and the responses to questions.
When the brain is not lit light a Christmas tree, there isn’t a need to react to whatever is happening in front of us. We observe and take-in everything from body language to the energy within the room. We can even feel the tension rise. But if the brain is stimulated, hot and heavy and ready to fire torpedoes from one neuron to the next, we miss everything and never learn how to defuse a situation.
After sitting through several experiences as an observer, only then could we really know who the troublemakers and instigators really are. And lets not forget about Debbie Downer. She knows how to suck the life out of anyone with her stories. Now we are armed with a wealth of information and we will think twice before allowing them into manipulate us into a full out war.
Bruno LoGreco Life Coach, Toronto Mentor & Motivational Speaker
1 comment:
The hardest part is sitting still, but it's well worth it!
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