My childhood memories are quite fond. I have memories of when I was 2 years old, just a baby. I remember my grandparents visiting from Italy; they took me for a walk down the street. Some memories are only still shots, a moment in time. Some memories are more detailed as I grow older. I remember my brother locking my mother into the cellar. That happened in the middle of a 70's winter. I clearly remember the consequences that followed too. I was only 3 years old.
Life Coaching Clients who go through my self-awareness program will tell you I preface their first session by saying, “Nobody is to blame for what you may uncover during your sessions. You are an adult now, and you must accept responsibility for your actions; you can no longer look for someone to blame for how you feel or for what you do. You should also know your parents did the best they could with the tools that were passed down to them. It’s a cycle that many, including you don’t even know you’re in.” Most clients who work with me are ready to learn what many people fear: The truth behind who they truly are.
Although I have many fond childhood memories, I also have the typical memories of: Abandonment, neglect, shame, and guilt among others, no different than anybody else. There is one particular memory of abandonment that will trigger my self-chatter. On command I could alter the direction of my journey and cast a shield to protect my inner child from experiencing another blow of abandonment. A few years ago, if I foresaw the possibility of experiencing the emotion of abandonment I altered the direction of my journey to protect my inner child instantly but had no clue that I was doing it. This behavior prevented me from enjoying my life to the fullest for fear I would be abandoned again.
The wounds of an inner child are very real and very much alive in everyone. The scar is deep, and the emotion is real. The feeling the inner child is left with when it’s not healed is isolation, alone and disconnected from the adult. People who experience depression, or experience troubled relationships, or ongoing life dissatisfaction may be feeling the remains of a wounded inner child. The pain to severe and the scar to deep for many, they often run from this experience never healing the emotional scar, and the cycle continues from generation to generation.
Fortunately I am aware of my inner child - from time to time he likes to make himself known by reacting strongly to certain events leaving me left with the same feeling as when I was a child. When my inner child surfaces I allow him to go through the process of feeling – basking in his emotions as I the adult Bruno validate his feelings. Suppressing his emotions would be denying his existence - he does exist. In the past when I did not validate his emotions he would seek validation externally. He was never direct with whatever he was feeling, he disguised his emotions within a joke or a general statement, but listened carefully for the validation. Boy oh boy - I don’t need to tell you what would happen if he wasn’t validated.
You are allowed to feel down and blue, little guy, it did happen and you have every right to feel blue. You’re safe and everything will be okay. Tomorrow is a new day. ☺
3 comments:
Just what I needed to read today. Don't push the little one away.
sometimes it's nice to hear the message...thanks Bruno.
Sometimes we all need a little reminder.
You're welcome jojo!
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