Taking A Break...

I've run out of steam folks - We all need to take a breather every now and again to recharge, and to find new inspiration. I'm sure I'll be back stronger than ever after my short break. This is what I call Self-Coaching by Life Coach, Toronto native Bruno LoGreco.

Thank you to everyone that have made this blogspot a stop on the many blogs that you read. I'll be back in September - In the mean time I will be between Toronto and New York, New York visiting my life coaching clients.

Enjoy the rest of your summer!

Bruno LoGreco

Taking A Break...

Respect Life & Life Will Respect You

This weekend was another one of those discovery weekends - Thanks to Katia from Nature's Secret Whisper. Katia challenged her readers to plan a day to have an adventure. So that is exactly what I set off to do this past weekend - Unfortunately, It rained most of Saturday. I did have good intentions to get out, but was home bound due to the thunder storms in the Toronto area.

Saturday I spent reading and drawing. I put my artistic abilities to the challenge. If I may say so myself, I produced two very interesting pieces. For someone that thought they didn't have a creative bone in their body, I surprised myself.

Sunday was a special day - two life coaching clients decided to cancel their sessions, which freed my entire Sunday to do as I pleased - Sunday's weather forecast was part rain and sun, with chances of thunderstorm for the Toronto and surrounding area. The heck with the rain... I took a chance anyway and headed to High Park.

I parked my car on Bloor Street, just west of Keele Street. Took a walk to Starbucks - I ordered a Venti Non-Fat Latte, bottle of water and a Strawberry Cheery Coffee cake. All ready for my day in the park--Notebook, paper pad, pastels, and Harry Potter.

I decided to walk through the bushes and trees on the nature path instead of the sidewalk through the park. I instantly had a thought of Life as I walked through the nature path. And then it started...

All life requires respect - All living things, plants, creatures, animals and humans. I started thinking about the environment. Look at how badly we've treated the environment, as a result we are dealing with global warming, change in climates globally. Then I started to wonder about plants and trees. This year is the first time in a very long time I noticed how beautiful weeds are when they are fully grown. Who ever said weeds need to be removed by chemicals? Hmm, I wonder what the side effects will be for using chemicals, did we disrespect life by doing so. I wonder if the increase in cancer cases has anything to do with pesticides?

It started to rain, I took shelter underneath an outhouse with a substantial roof to protect me from the falling rain. I was inspired by the nature that stood all around me, In every direction I turned all I could see were weeds, trees, flowers, grass, bushes, and of course people running for cover. All life forms right before my eyes, even animals not too far in the distance... And than it hit me. Respect Life and Life will respect you.

I learned yesterday that I too am a living, breathing, life form. Just as all living things require respect, we as human also require respect, self-respect When we stop or forget to respect ourselves, we also act like the environment.

I spent the next three hours journaling, respecting my true thoughts.

Respect Life & Life Will Respect You

Feeling Shameful?

So check this out… What if you're ashamed of yourself for something--maybe the something you're ashamed of is in your conscious thought or maybe it’s not. If I were a betting man, I would bet that whatever the ”something” is, is part of the 95% of what you don’t know you do everyday.

What if whatever you're ashamed of, unconsciously dents your CONFIDENCE. You known I love using that word

That’s right, your confidence. What if the “something” is unconsciously throwing off the balance of one of your five pillars? Remember, if one pillar is off balance then the others are too or soon will be.

It really is amazing what that pesky emotion confidence can do to your determination and willpower. Here is where everything gets all screwy and starts to mishmash with each other making you dizzy. I’ll try my best to explain it without making your head go round and round.

You see, when you're ashamed of “something,” whether you are consciously aware of it or not it relates to your guilt. When you feel guilty because of shame, it’s like giving yourself a warning, or being reprimanded--admonish for believing that something is wrong or likely to be disapproved by others.

TA DA!!! and a false belief is born. Did I say BELIEVE? Ladies and Gentlemen, please allow me to introduce… CONFLICT.

That’s right, CONFLICT, the worst of it’s kind because you can't see it nor here it unless of course you are self-aware. But that's not what we are talking about today, I guess you'll have to come back another day to learn more about self-awareness. No, ’m talking about self-conflict, the kind you put on yourself when you want to do something but can't because you're ashamed of something. The "something" that you're ashamed of that is denting your confidence until you become aware of it.

Okay, let me see if I could get back on track.. confidence… shame…conflict right, okay I remember now… So you’ve welcomed conflict into your life, and now depending on what it is you want to do, and if whatever it is that you want to do poses a risk of exposing the “something” you are ashamed of -- the thought of others knowing your "something" triggers an overwhelming feeling of anxiety, and sooner or later fear is knocking at your door.

All of this because you believe the “something” you are ashamed of will not be approved by others.

Didn’t we talk about this the other day? Illusions? Hmmm, maybe not, I guess Illusions will have to be another day too. Sorry, just too much to right about.

Oh darn… There goes that pesky emotion CONFIDENCE again. I think I just lost my confidence in what I was saying. That happens sometimes, I forget what I’m saying. It’s okay because its Friday and today is me day. But before I forget let me leave you with this short exercise to help you get over your shame.


Exercise

1. Find yourself a few hours of quiet lonely time
2. Bring a journal
3. Reflect on the “things” you feel most shame for
4. Write each “thing” you are shameful for in your journal, including:
* I feel most shameful when....
* The first time I felt shame was....
* The shame I carry prevents me from...
* I think others might say.....
5. Say what you are ashamed of out loud
6. Repeat process for each “thing” you are ashamed of

Happy Friday to everyone, enjoy your weekend and come back on Tuesday when I'll give you another tidbit about pesky emotions that get in your way each day. And if you are still hungry and want to learn more about getting over shame, talk to someone for added SUPPORT, and if you can't find anyone to SUPPORT you check out Life Coach, Toronto native Bruno LoGreco @ www.brunologreco.com - I'm sure Bruno will provide you with the SUPPORT you need. And don't forget, Bruno is not only in Toronto, but in New York too.

Feeling Shameful?

Confidence

Okay, so I'm on a roll these past few days. Who knew by changing the style of my writing and making it less authoritative, I would have a lot more fun with my writing. Now I don't have to plan what I'm going to write anymore. I naturally spew my thoughts out onto the page. I even stopped using Word to create my blog posts.

I know, you are probably thinking why does he use Word to create his blog posts. Let me help you with that thought... I don't have a high level of CONFIDENCE when it comes to my grammar, so I use Word...I hide behind Word? Am I really hiding? The TRUTH is, I did hide behind Word, and I still screwed up. So as of last week, I stopped using Word.

Last week I was inspired by Hallie, a fellow blogger, Jena, my soon to be creative writing coach, and Amity, another fellow blogger. All three inspired, and taught me how to use CAPITALS, and BOLD letters to emphasize statements. Thanks ladies! That small tidbit BOOSTED my CONFIDENCE in my creative writing skills. GRAZIE!

So how do you learn how to BOOST your CONFIDENCE in one of the five pillars?
That my friend, believe it or not is extremely easy. There's another sweeping comment by Bruno... but the reality is, it's true as long as you have focus it is extremely easy.

What do I mean by FOCUS? What I mean is by having a goal, something to aim for. It could be something small or large, it could be anything you want in your life, happiness, enlightenment. Something in the future that requires a little bit of action on your part. Think about it and for now pick only ONE goal to start with.

Now take the goal and think about all the tiny little steps that are required for you to achieve your goal and write them all out on a piece of paper. Write one small step-- write the next step below the first step and so on. Once you have all the tiny little steps written out, only focus on the first step and only the first step. Once you've achieved the first tiny step on your list, CHECK MARK it.

Move onto step number two. Focus on step number two and only on step number two until you've completed this small tiny step. Now reward yourself for completing two steps. Continue this process until all your tiny steps are completed.

Never look at how much more you have left to complete, always look at how much you've already completed.

Follow these easy steps and you too will be on your way to building your CONFIDENCE.

You know what I'm going to say now, don't you? Here it comes... wait for it, wait for it... HIGHER CONFIDENCE equals higher SELF-ESTEEM and with higher SELF-ESTEEM you will feel better about yourself, and up goes your SELF-WORTH and one of your off balance pillars might balance itself out... And GUESS WHAT? You balance out one pillar and the others are surely to follow.

In case you are wondering if writing is one of my focus areas, you are correct, it is one of my focuses this year. :)

Come back tomorrow and see if my CONFIDENCE level reached it's peak or if I have more to say about some of those emotions that get in your way each day. And if you are still hungry and want to learn more about how to build your CONFIDENCE, get SUPPORT, and if you can't find anyone to SUPPORT you check out Life Coach, Toronto native Bruno LoGreco @ www.brunologreco.com - I'm sure Bruno will provide you with the SUPPORT you need.

Happy hump day!

Confidence

Aggressive or Assertive?

Last week I spoke about EMOTIONS. In my post last week I began to explain how all EMOTIONS are all connected with each other, similar to the five pillars: Intellectual, Financial, Spiritual, Physical, and Emotional. Should any ONE of your pillars be off balance, then you can assume the others are off too. It's like a domino effect.

Do you ever wonder why you have a hard time saying NO? Some days it flows off your tongue while other days it's the hardest word to get out of your mouth. Why is that? Why is saying NO such a hard word for most people to use? And if we do say NO its followed by a HUGE explanation, a justification of sorts.

Would you be surprised if I told you the reason why you cannot say NO has to do with your level of CONFIDENCE & SELF-WORTH? Of course you're not surprised. Deep down inside you already knew this, so this post will only serve to confirm what you already know.

What is the difference between Aggression and Assertiveness anyway? AGGRESSION is someone with a hostile or violent behavior or attitude towards another person. Being ASSERTIVE is having and showing a confident and forceful personality.

If you continue to say YES to the things you don't want to do, you will only continue to to destroy your self-respect. Didn't I tell you all emotions and feelings are connected? SELF-WORTH, SELF-RESPECT, SELF-ESTEEM the list goes on and on. But for TODAY we will be focusing on being ASSERTIVE.

So the next time you are asked to do something you do not wish to do, just say NO, say NO with authority and leave little to no explanation. Remember, this is YOUR life and if you do not want to do something, It's your choice not to do it.

Saying NO to the things you don't want to do in your life will help rebuild your CONFIDENCE and restore your SELF-RESPECT. By saying NO it does not mean you are being aggressive, it just means you've decided to stop being a push over and decided to retake control of your life.

QUICK EXERCISE:

1. Write down all the people you have a hard time saying NO to.
2. Write down all the things you do not wish to do that you often say YES to.
3. Practice saying NO, thinking of the people and things you do not want to do.
4. Know the person you want to say NO to, and learn how best to deliver your NO without engaging the other person's EGO.

Come back soon so we can talk about some of those other emotions that get in your way each day. And if you still want to talk about how to say NO or learn how to deal with your emotions, get some SUPPORT, or check out Life Coach, Toronto native Bruno LoGreco @ www.brunologreco.com - I'm sure he will provide you the SUPPORT you need.

Happy Tuesday!

Aggressive or Assertive?

Emotions

What a mixed bag of feelings and emotions people have. Did you know that everything is connected to each other; confidence, self-esteem, ego, trust, self-worth, depression, anxiety, fear, the list goes on and on. If you experience any one of these emotions, among others, then you could assume they are all out of sorts. Its like the five pillars: emotional, intellectual, physical, financial, and spiritual, if anyone of these pillars is off balance, the others will be off too. Because ONE pillar will have an affect on another.

Lets take fear for example. You have the fear for public speaking. The thought, because all emotions stem from a thought, of speaking among a crowd scares you. You are afraid of what the people in the crowd will say. You think they will make negative comments. Those thoughts spark a feeling of anxiety through your body and soon you are saying, "NO WAY. I'm afraid to speak in front of a crowd. I'm NOT doing it." Sound familiar?

That is only the beginning of the problem. The fear for public speaking is the surface emotion, but what is contributing to the emotion? Pick ONE! It doesn't matter which emotion you pick. Sooner or later they will all apply. So for argument sake lets pick Ego. The fear for public speaking is really the fear of judgement. How another person will judge your performance. Nobody wants to look like a fool in front of any crowd, so the thought is, "My dignity is worth far more." My dignity is about pride, and pride is about self-image.

You were taught at a very young age to have pride in what you do, care for what you do and from that your value system will develop. But these values, if adapted to your self-image rather than specific situations, could lead to lack of self-worth, guilt, shame and a few other emotions that fuel bad ego. (Now I'm beginning to wonder If I could actually write about all of them in one post, NOT today) So when situational based values are applied to self-image, pride over the truth, the TRUTH is nobody is talking about you, you haven't even spoken, the ego is largely at play. And of course there is good ego, and good ego operates from a place of TRUTH, facts.

So what is really going on? Why are you really AFRAID to speak? Are you lacking confidence? I am NOT suggesting that if you cannot speak among a crowd that you are not a confident person generally. Because you could be confident in one area but not in another, but that's another post too. The reality is you are lacking confidence, because your ego is in the way of LEARNING. What I mean by learning is by screwing-up. YES I said screw-up. How else are you going to learn unless you screw-up. You've given way too many people credit for thinking they know everything. Isn't that what you are implying? Start learning again and you will be surprised how much more confident you will become.

Did somebody say Confident? Oh boy, If I'm feeling confident that must mean my SELF-ESTEEM is high. You mean I control my self-esteem? Only if you CHOOSE too. But you have to be willing to fall and get a little bruised the first time. But the next time you fall the bruise won't be as large and you will get up quicker too. With more CONFIDENCE and higher SELF-ESTEEM you will be less likely to experience an episode of depression. Again, I'm not saying that if you can't public speak that you are doomed for depression.

Anyway, I think my CONFIDENCE is just about out of steam for today. Come back Tuesday when we can talk about some of those other emotions that get in your way each day. And if you still want to talk about your EMOTIONS or learn how to deal with them, get some SUPPORT, or check out Life Coach, Toronto native Bruno LoGreco - I'm sure he will give you the SUPPORT you need.

Today's creative writing style was inspired by Hallie, Amity, and Jena. This style of writing is oh so much more fun. Thank you ladies!

Emotions