WTF! I said NO! What part of it don't you understand?

We all do something or another even when we don’t want to. For whatever reason we just do those things. Maybe it’s an automatic reaction – the need to not disappoint anyone, or something we learned a long time ago and we just live by it. Sometimes it only takes a few seconds and it’s out of the way for now, and other times it takes a few hours and only puts a dent into it. The irony of it is, all while doing whatever it is we don’t want to do we play along and make believe we are happy doing it.

Those are the things we tolerate in life. We do them because we believe we have to. It is a way to keep the peace – not to stir the pot with friends and family. Or we believe its wrong to speak up and to explain why we don’t want to do it. Perhaps we believe it is disrespectful to say “no.” In the past, saying “no” has lead to major arguments and in the end we were left defending our emotions. So it is easier to just say “yes” and to tolerate it.

It is those things, which we tolerate, that eventually lead us to resentment. And once resentment sets in we can kiss communication goodbye. Here we become short in our response and feel that they should know exactly why we are upset with them. We expect them to give us an exact response, a validation, or something to acknowledge our effort. And that expectation is never fulfilled. We go on growing increasingly bitterer.

Why let it get to that point? Why not nip it in the bud - put a stop to it before it gets to that point where all communication breaks down. Simply said, it isn’t worth it. Our emotions will get the better part of us and we will say things we don’t mean in the effort to fulfill our need for validation.

1. Make a list of things you tolerate in your life. Look into different aspect of your life and become aware of your emotions as you make the list: Relationships, tasks, hobbies, business, responsibilities, job, location, etc.
2. Observe your emotions as you make the list and assign a numeric value next to each item denoting the level of emotion associated to it. Use a scale from 1 to 5. 5 indicating a high level of emotion.
3. Review the list and next to each item ask yourself: Can I do less of it?

• If you answered Yes, start moving away from it
• If you answered No, ask yourself:

i. Why not?
ii. How does it make me feel?
iii. Is what I am doing my responsibility?
iv. Whose responsibility is it?
v. What are the negative consequences if I say no?
vi. Will life come to an end if I say no?

Use your knowledge to stop tolerating those things which lead to resentment. Become assertive - there is no need for aggression when you know why you are saying NO to tolerations. In fact, when you know why you are saying NO, that’s all you will ever have to say.

Bruno LoGreco Life Coach, Toronto Mentor & Motivational Speaker

WTF! I said NO! What part of it don't you understand?

Extra - Extra Read All About It: Emotional Time Bomb Waiting To Happen

We all have one of those environments that we walk into, that no matter how hard we try to keep our emotions in check, somehow every time the usual suspects are together one thing leads to another and before anyone could see anything coming, emotions spew themselves everywhere giving everyone something to talk about. We lo-o-o-s-s-e it, then burst out of there.

"Why does that always happen?"

The worst part about it is, when you reflect on those experiences you realize the big to-do, which left everyone with something to talk about, didn’t even resolve the question that was asked at the beginning. You were speaking about apples and them bananas. Everyone missed the boat - and the boat before that, and the one before that one too.

The trick to learning to defuse those situations from catching on fire in the first place is to become an observer. As hard as it is for some of us to do, a key skill needed to be an observer is to listen. We must sit and listen; watch on as others interact with one another, and listen to the many conversations and the responses to questions.

When the brain is not lit light a Christmas tree, there isn’t a need to react to whatever is happening in front of us. We observe and take-in everything from body language to the energy within the room. We can even feel the tension rise. But if the brain is stimulated, hot and heavy and ready to fire torpedoes from one neuron to the next, we miss everything and never learn how to defuse a situation.

After sitting through several experiences as an observer, only then could we really know who the troublemakers and instigators really are. And lets not forget about Debbie Downer. She knows how to suck the life out of anyone with her stories. Now we are armed with a wealth of information and we will think twice before allowing them into manipulate us into a full out war.

Bruno LoGreco Life Coach, Toronto Mentor & Motivational Speaker

Extra - Extra Read All About It: Emotional Time Bomb Waiting To Happen

The Art of Expression

Bottling your emotions is self-destructive. I never understood why “men don’t cry”, and “woman must be strong and not show signs of weakness”. The physiological makeup of your body isn’t designed to suppress emotions, its designed to feel and to express it. When you express how you feel it releases pent-up emotions brewing deep within you.

The Art of Expression allows you to dispel bottled emotions. You dissolve limiting beliefs, anger, and frustration developed by past experiences. The ability to freely express your emotions constructively frees your soul from the burden and the pain smothering you with each passing step. It clears the path to allow for new experiences – positive and memorable ones.

The path of experiences is long and sometimes heavy, especially if you walk backwards and could only see past experiences. With every step taken a new experience is created and many new experiences resemble a lot like your past. How you discern each step - the experience from it, will be what falls onto the path for you to face.


Art is a source of expression. It appeals to the senses and emotions. Through The Art of Expression your sensori-emotinal values, the values which makeup your judgment of sentiment, can recreate and express hurt, pain, suffering, love, joy or bliss, or any combination. With colour and depth, an abstract of your emotions, a visual representation of how you feel is created - Your real emotions released…

Bottling your emotions will do nothing for you. It will imprison you, and you won’t be able to turn around and walk forward in your own life. Your confidence and self-esteem will tumble to the ground and those too will be another past experience.

“The Art of Expression heals people. Its very calming and satisfying,” explains Ray Mantella. Ray is an artist and close friend. Ray’s work is featured at New York’s Amsterdam Whitney Gallery and in galleries worldwide. Ray and I share similar philosophies, “Do what you love and success will come from it.” Together we are planning a weekend workshop – The Art of Expression. Details Coming Soon.

Bruno LoGreco Life Coach & Mentor, Motivational Speaker and TV Personality.

The Art of Expression

Human Emotions & A Volcanic Eruption

Thank God It’s Friday! What a week it was – from the time I awoke early Monday morning to catch my flight back to Toronto, I worked non-stop up until late last night tending to clients plus cropping and loading new images for the much anticipated launch of hero+destiny - an online pet company that has been in the works for a better part of two years. Suffice to say I feel the candle burning from both ends.

Awareness coaching is about automatic behaviors, recognizing triggers and identifying the root cause, which evoke reactions. It is also about feeling emotions and allowing space within the soul to go through the process of feeling. Often time emotions are bottled-up for many reasons: fear, judgment, suppression, etc. And when emotions are constantly bottled rather than experienced, one begins to build a resistance towards their own feelings.

Volcanoes are similar to humans who make the decision to suppress their emotions – how they feel. These are individuals who have suppressed their true feelings, or believe they are strong and that emotions are for kids, or that men don’t cry. I am not suggesting only men think this way because females do to. These are the one’s who have an imminent explosion brewing inside, deep in the core of their soul similar to a volcanic eruption.

For these individuals, at any moment given the right condition and environment within the world around them, an uncontrollable explosion will occur. A volcano releasing its gases, exploding in every direction, suffocating those who breathe the ashes from the erupting volcano, and burning anyone in the way of the burning lava.

This past week I experienced an uncontrollable urge to experience my own emotions, but I was unable to allow myself the space I required to feel the emotions because I had no time for myself to feel what I was feeling. I allowed myself to bottle my emotions and put the well being of others ahead of my own. This is a recipe for disaster. Fortunately, I am lucky to realize what I have done this past week and today, Friday, is ‘me’ day and I will deal with my emotions and do what is necessary for myself to ensure I do not erupt like a volcano.

Enjoy Your Weekend - Try to find a little ‘me’ time to allow yourself to feel human, to experience your emotions, in which ever way that may be.

Bruno LoGreco Master Life Coach and Mentor

Human Emotions & A Volcanic Eruption

Emotions

What a mixed bag of feelings and emotions people have. Did you know that everything is connected to each other; confidence, self-esteem, ego, trust, self-worth, depression, anxiety, fear, the list goes on and on. If you experience any one of these emotions, among others, then you could assume they are all out of sorts. Its like the five pillars: emotional, intellectual, physical, financial, and spiritual, if anyone of these pillars is off balance, the others will be off too. Because ONE pillar will have an affect on another.

Lets take fear for example. You have the fear for public speaking. The thought, because all emotions stem from a thought, of speaking among a crowd scares you. You are afraid of what the people in the crowd will say. You think they will make negative comments. Those thoughts spark a feeling of anxiety through your body and soon you are saying, "NO WAY. I'm afraid to speak in front of a crowd. I'm NOT doing it." Sound familiar?

That is only the beginning of the problem. The fear for public speaking is the surface emotion, but what is contributing to the emotion? Pick ONE! It doesn't matter which emotion you pick. Sooner or later they will all apply. So for argument sake lets pick Ego. The fear for public speaking is really the fear of judgement. How another person will judge your performance. Nobody wants to look like a fool in front of any crowd, so the thought is, "My dignity is worth far more." My dignity is about pride, and pride is about self-image.

You were taught at a very young age to have pride in what you do, care for what you do and from that your value system will develop. But these values, if adapted to your self-image rather than specific situations, could lead to lack of self-worth, guilt, shame and a few other emotions that fuel bad ego. (Now I'm beginning to wonder If I could actually write about all of them in one post, NOT today) So when situational based values are applied to self-image, pride over the truth, the TRUTH is nobody is talking about you, you haven't even spoken, the ego is largely at play. And of course there is good ego, and good ego operates from a place of TRUTH, facts.

So what is really going on? Why are you really AFRAID to speak? Are you lacking confidence? I am NOT suggesting that if you cannot speak among a crowd that you are not a confident person generally. Because you could be confident in one area but not in another, but that's another post too. The reality is you are lacking confidence, because your ego is in the way of LEARNING. What I mean by learning is by screwing-up. YES I said screw-up. How else are you going to learn unless you screw-up. You've given way too many people credit for thinking they know everything. Isn't that what you are implying? Start learning again and you will be surprised how much more confident you will become.

Did somebody say Confident? Oh boy, If I'm feeling confident that must mean my SELF-ESTEEM is high. You mean I control my self-esteem? Only if you CHOOSE too. But you have to be willing to fall and get a little bruised the first time. But the next time you fall the bruise won't be as large and you will get up quicker too. With more CONFIDENCE and higher SELF-ESTEEM you will be less likely to experience an episode of depression. Again, I'm not saying that if you can't public speak that you are doomed for depression.

Anyway, I think my CONFIDENCE is just about out of steam for today. Come back Tuesday when we can talk about some of those other emotions that get in your way each day. And if you still want to talk about your EMOTIONS or learn how to deal with them, get some SUPPORT, or check out Life Coach, Toronto native Bruno LoGreco - I'm sure he will give you the SUPPORT you need.

Today's creative writing style was inspired by Hallie, Amity, and Jena. This style of writing is oh so much more fun. Thank you ladies!

Emotions