The more I learn about life and how to succeed, the more I realize that it really is about ‘me’, the authentic relationship I have with self. I won’t lie to you and make you believe that I’ve always had this relationship, because I haven’t. It has been a gradual development that’s taken 34 years, and I suspect I will continue to build upon the relationship until my final moment.
There was a time in my life when I was disconnected from me. I separated my thoughts from my emotions. It was easier for me to view myself in the 3rd party. It was my natural defense mechanism so not to feel hurt. I wasn’t completely disconnected I still heard my thoughts although I chose to ignore it most times. I was ashamed of myself, I didn’t like who I was and I didn’t know if anyone would accept me if they learned the truth about me.
I spent my teenage years searching for where I belonged. Which group will accept ‘me’. I never did feel like I fit into any group. I always felt like the outcast, even though I was the one who had a secret. In my pursuit to find where I belonged, I turned into a manic by 20. Everyone said I was hyper, here one second gone the next – always on the go. Sure I was, I was desperate to find where I belonged. Quite the contrast of who I am today.
I started to believe that perhaps I would never find where I really belong – and that’s when I whispered to myself, "Perhaps you already belong." I began listening to myself. I slowly established a relationship with ‘me’ and started to feel comfortable being alone. I paid careful attention to my thoughts, ideas, opinions, feelings, needs, and dreams. I even discovered through my internal dialogue that if I couldn’t love myself unconditionally I couldn’t have a true relationship with anyone else. The foundation would be based on a lie.
It Started With 'Me'
Now I look into my eyes each time I see a mirror and say, “I love you” rather than judging how I appear. I accept ‘me’ for who I am. I had to learn how unique I am, and that I am as much of a gift as anyone else, and that, I am worth it. I am honest with ‘me’ - I use hard facts to face the truth and to accept what is. I accept and trust ‘me’ enough to never turn my back on ‘me’ never again. It took time but I developed the foundation needed with self to take responsibility for my actions and to hold myself accountable.
What I learned about life so far is that nobody else can give me what I want or need or can make me feel like I belong, except me. And, that when you’re authentically you success will come knocking at the door.
1 comment:
Feeling comfortable in one's skim--that's the way to be happy and successful.
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