Early Tuesday morning, just after five o’clock. People often ask me what I do with my time at this early hour, especially when I do not work for anybody but myself. I tell them I write, I think, and plan my day. At this early hour, the silence that hovers around me allows me to think clearly with no distractions, it feels as if I am meditating.
There is so much hurt, anger, and confusion in this world. People are confused about who they are, why they feel the way they do, angry with those around them for not meeting nor exceeding their expectations, emotions fueled by disappointment.
For those whom seek external validation to boost their ego and sense of self-worth, for the battered wife that believes she must stay with the man she married till death do us part, for the little girl that cries for help but cannot be heard – It is a confusing and disappointing life.
External validation only fuels your ego momentarily. External validation received from another person only boosts the ego for a few seconds. While the validation feels good for a moment, what is really happening is you are sending a message to your brain that says, “External Validation is what I need to feel validated,” so the mind, body and soul continue to seek external validation to fulfill your needs. Thus leading to constant disappointment.
The false belief married couples have – Till Death Do Us Part. When one partner is not open and honest and committed to the marriage, creating scenarios that threaten to destroy the marriage. Guilt takes over – I am old fashion and I must remain in the marriage because his needs are far more important than mine.
The little girl who cannot speak – pretending to be someone she is not for the fear of rejection. A veil masks her true identity, protecting the girl inside from hurt, from the pain - this is who I think I need to be – She will give me the strength and confidence to persevere - what they do not see will not hurt.
Life is confusing, but only as confusing as you wish to make it.
I received two “Superior Scribble” award yesterday. Thank you to Sue and So Grateful To Be a Mormon for the award. I am honored to have received the awards, but know I will not be participating per the rules.
Bruno LoGreco Master Life Coaching & Mentor
6 comments:
Parts of this post look eerily familiar to me. hehe.
Great post this morning. :-)
i can understand the early morning thing bruno, i do the same but not always with the amount of clarity i need at times, i just savour the silence and clear my mind as much as possible before the noise and confusion of the day begins...
needing external validation is essentially the same as addiction in a way, you keep on needing to score and as time goes by you end up needing more and more to get the same kick because the amounts you needed beforehand are never enough...
i'm glad you wrote this, it echoes a lot of what's going on in my life at the moment... keep well
Hi Bruno,
Thanks about the award. I hesitated to pass it on to you because I didn't think you needed the validation, but I did it for two reasons. So much of what you write gets to me and I was hoping to point some others to your insight as well if they wanted to follow another link. Thanks for what you share here. I took your advice about my teen daughter and we have been doing better overall. I told myself and her that I did not want to resort to yelling anymore and I haven't been at all. I have been approaching her with a more loving and kind manner. She has responded very well so far. The other day she yelled at me about something and instead of reacting to her and yelling, I told her to stop yelling, I'm not yelling, you come back to me when you are ready to talk in a good voice. Something like that. And she came back later, and was better behaved. And she hasn't yelled since then. Overall we are both trying to do something better I think. So, thanks for pointing out what you did to me. I took it to heart. I appreciate what you share here, Kathleen
Grazie Amiga!!
Great comparison bart! That is exactly how validation/ego operates - the more you get the more you want.
I'm glad you enjoy this blog SGTBM and that you were able to come to terms with your daughter. Parenting is not an easy job, but it is what you signed up for when you decided to have children. Clearly leading by example is working for you. Keep at it.. Thank you for the award and for dropping by.
Thank-you !
your post touched me very deeply...i was that little girl who has lost herself in order to try to be someone that i think others want me to be...yep...she is still here inside of me but much more at peace now because she knows she is loved, by me (:
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