Have you ever given any thought to why you react to another person's comment, or to something you read? A comment, not positive not negative but a comment that you identified yourself with, meaning you resonate with and made it personal? What happens over the next few minutes--The volume in your head becomes louder, one thought leads to another, your feelings ignite and all of a sudden you are emotional.
You have allowed a comment, perhaps by a stranger, to effect your state of being. That would suggest that someone other than yourself has power over you that could control your emotions--a key to unlock your emotions.
To understand why you would allow another person to control your state of being you must first be aware and accept that you have allowed another person to gain control of your emotions. Ask yourself what it is that you are reacting to. Are you reacting because you have made the comment personal--an issue you are dealing with on a personal level? Are you reacting because of the lack of validation, perhaps your expectations are too high and unknown? Are you reacting because you know more, you have a bruised ego?
Often time understanding why you react to another person’s comment is the key to unlocking your self-awareness. Perhaps you are reacting because you did not receive the validation you were expecting--The question then becomes; What are my expectations and why do I have expectations of others? You might have to dig deep to find the answers.
When you learn the answers to your questions, you will be on your way to learning how to becomeself-aware, and in the process you will have changed the locks to your emotions too.
6 comments:
powerful message here bruno, thank you so much... i'm learning to see the triggers but it's tricky stuff yet and i've made a couple of big mistakes and wrong assumptions on the way...
keep well...
somewhere around late 1990 a coworker gave me a piece of advice that has stuck -- i even remember where we were standing when he gave it. he told me that not everyone can matter. you could and should not try to gain everybodies 'blessing' or approval. his recommendation was to select those who mattered, whose opinion was important and aim to keep their respect.
i, being a pleaser and a sensitive pisces, still struggle with this one. i no longer try to gain everyone's respect and approval. i have got better and better at this one. i do however still take to heart the opinions and words of those i respect, love and consider important to me. i think that is ok. if i respect and value your opinion, i listen to what you have to say, consider it and i consider how it impacts me or i impact it.
now, i am the one who from a young age felt sorry for the last teaspoon at the bottom of the sink, forgotten in the wash water, or the lost sock. i feel bad throwing our leftovers -- the plants and animals worked hard to make the food and i hate to dispose of their hard work....a bit nutty i know. i hate to separate the little banana families at the grocery store and personalize alot of non-humans -- my cars all had names, my dog has a voice and i talk to my plants.
that is just me,
storm
Hi bruno - I came over to just thank you for all the times you have commented at mine and supported me - and stumble on this making me wonder "Why did I come over now?Why not yesterday, or tomorrow?"
I think the answer to that one is that your comment warmed my heart. You told me I was good at something - we all like to hear that. So thank you. I don't know if I *am* good at it (ABC Wednesday or photography) but I can "hold my own" I guess, and that is a good feeling.
You are pretty good at this life skill stuff yourself. It's so healthy to be reminded sometimes to examine why we react to things as we do. Thanks for that.
And again, for stopping by.
Made my way over here from Laura `Peach~...been having a look around and am happy indeed that I have come here. Something or someone has led me to this place and I am excited to see what it brings. Thanks for your great post ;)
thank you that you wisited my blog...and...the post is realy powerful
great post bruno, as always (:
self-awareness is the key to emotional control and happiness.
Post a Comment