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    Tuesday, June 24, 2008

    Self-Esteem

    How many times in your life have you been talked to about self-esteem? In school, at work, by your friends, by your family – self-esteem is the panacea that can cure many of life’s problems but when you have issues with your self-esteem all those speeches from those closest to you can serve only to compound the problems you are having and make you feel even more inferior.

    The first step, rather than saying ‘I have low self-esteem and need to combat it’ is to truly understand your mindset and what that low self esteem does in your life. Self-esteem is more than a buzzword thrown around by counselors – it is a way of being, of thinking and acting. Self esteem is how you accept, trust, and believe in yourself. When you accept yourself, you learn to live comfortably with your personal strengths and weaknesses regardless and outside of any criticism you receive.

    This means first of all that you view yourself independently of how others view you. Instead of worrying about assimilating with a static world view, you value your uniqueness in the world and start respecting yourself in the same way you would anyone around you. There is no reason to treat other people better than you treat yourself and that is the core to building self worth.

    You must understand how to trust in your beliefs and behaviors, knowing that your feelings are correct and that when they are consistent enough, you can bring inner peace to your life despite the external noise and judgments that constantly inundate you from all around. You must believe not only that you can succeed but that you deserve to succeed as much as anyone around you. Many people, when they suffer from self-esteem have a misguided belief that they do not deserve to be successful or happy in life. This kind of fallacy is not only unhealthy to your self-esteem, it can throw your mind into chaos and keep you from ever achieving any sense of peace.

    Sourcing Low Self-Esteen

    First, you must understand where low self-esteem comes from. There are multiple sources, all creating a sense of emptiness that can lead to depression, anxiety, and a lack of control. Instead of searching inside, individuals with low self esteem grasp at external things and voices to fill that void, never actually finding a solution – only finding temporary external validation that can flee at any moment. This type of behavior can also lead to an addictive personality that relies on drugs and alcohol to cloud over that need. Under the influence of these mood altering substances, individuals with low self esteem can more readily accept themselves, but the effect is only temporary until their inhibitions and the truth of their situation comes rushing back.

    Depression, hopelessness and stagnation all develop due to low self esteem, killing any vision or dreams an individual may have, making that individual a victim of their environment in a way that is insurmountable when environmental noise reaches a certain point.

    Sourcing High Self Esteem

    Those with high self-esteem have a completely different outlook on life, feeling good about themselves and about life in general. They find tasks easier and are more resourceful when attempting to complete a task because they know they can succeed, even while stretching outside of their comfort zone. This willingness to think outside the box makes these individuals more creative, more powerful, and more capable of making life choices while accepting the challenges that lie just around the corner. They are calmer inside and yet more confident that they can make changes in their lives and succeed in doing so.

    Self Esteem is the quintessential starting point for any form of success in life. Those with high self esteem and a positive self image are able to realize their potential and live their dreams out in a way that they never could have before. They more readily find balance in their life throughout all five pillars and ultimately synchronization with the universe and harmony in their mind, body, and soul.

    Master Life Coach, Toronto based Bruno LoGreco
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    6 comments:

    Traisas said...

    I want to throw this out there, not as an attack of any kind or to be antagonistic (because really, I think this is a very good article!), but for discussion:

    But when you say "Many people, when they suffer from self-esteem have a misguided belief that they do not deserve to be successful or happy in life. This kind of fallacy is not only unhealthy to your self-esteem, it can throw your mind into chaos and keep you from ever achieving any sense of peace."

    What if one of your beliefs is that none of us really DO deserve "success" or "happiness." A truth which can cause an illusion of a lack of self-esteem, but is really just a "reality" that makes coping with one's current circumstances more difficult (thus potentially leading to depression or a withdrawl from social situations).

    The pursuit of happiness and this "sense of peace," to said person may be perceived as damaging, which ultimately may get mis-interpretted as this person having a self-esteem issue, when that's really not the case at all.

    I am wondering if despression and low self-esteem have become a quick and easy diagnoses, for what may be a far more complex and far-reaching issue within some people's heads.

    Bruno LoGreco said...

    I'm not a doctor, nor a psychologist - but I love psychology and read loads of books on the human brain, personalities, disorders and cognitive behavior. I agree with you - I believe as you do, that a great number of individuals are diagnosed with some form of mental disorder or another. According to a survey completed in 2004 by Time Magazine, 200,000 Americans (appx. 20,000 Canadians) experience some level of depression 3 days in each month.

    If a person truly believes nobody, including themselves deserve success or happiness, that would be a false belief - ( Everybody does deserve success and happiness - success and happiness is different from one person to the next - but everybody deserves to be happy in life) If they retreat and isolate themselves for an extended period of time because they could not find a sense of peace, on their pursuit of happiness, among other behaviors, then yes one could assume this person could be falling into a deep depression.

    The human brain is still an undiscovered area of our anatomy -- we have lots to learn when it comes to our brains. But one thing is clear, depression seems to be a Western World phenomenon - which leads most people in the field of psychology to assume that depression is the manifestation of environmental influences - external to one.

    Leigh Russell said...

    I assume by 'depression' you mean a general, it can happen to anyone, kind of low spirits? Clinical depression is a very serious illness. Fortunately, I've never suffered from it, or been close to anyone sufferering from this destructive condition. I do know enough about it to think that if I had, I would probably take issue with some of your sweeping statements. Clinical depression is an illness over which the sufferer has no control, and for which they can't be held 'responsible'. I'm not sure your comments are actually very helpful. Perhaps you need to take more care over the terms you bandy about here. It could be quite hurtful, even offensive, to put forward such ideas.

    Bruno LoGreco said...

    It's a good thing we live in a democratic society - Freedom of speech is my right the last time I checked. Leigh I appreciate all comments made by the readers of this blog - including those of readers that do not agree with the facts I present. I'm sorry you feel so strongly about my post today leigh, but perhaps you might want to do a little research on depression and self-esteem before you come back blasting me for what I'm entitled to believe and share with the readers of this blog.

    Have a great day!

    i am storm. said...

    leigh, i was surprised by your antagonistic post -- especially considering you state you are uniquely unqualified to 'bandy' about such opinions. Perhaps you should follow your own advice and take more care. i have two close friends who have been diagnosed with depression. i have the experience you lack and have been by their sides and listened to their stories and trials. when getting out of bed and getting dressed is a huge accomplishment in a persons life, it is fair to say that knowing you have value, are worthy of that value and are appreciated and loved for just being, in other words, having a healthy self-esteem would be beneficial. building self-esteem is one of the topics both friends worked on extensively. perhaps next time, leigh, when you know not of what you speak, you may want to bite your tongue and do some research before commenting with such sweeping, inaccurate statements.

    bruno, great post!

    storm

    GoneBackSouth said...

    Well I don't know about all that. What I do know is that my self esteem has grown with maturity, and I could have done with a little coaching in this area when I was younger.

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    Ten Powerful Self-Coaching Tips

    By Bruno LoGreco

    Are you living the life of creativity and happiness that you've always dreamed of, or are you allowing your fears or other outside factors to influence you?

    Following the path that your heart's desires requires courage and might require a shift in attitude. There are several methods you can use to act as your own life coach and start working toward the life you dream of.

    Ideas for self-improvement

    You don't need to change every aspect of your life at once in order to improve your attitude and outlook on life. Self-improvement can feel daunting if you try to change everything at once.

    A good way to embark on your journey of self-coaching is to make one change and see what kind of impact it has upon your life. The following tips are designed to help you improve your life and become your own life coach. Try out one of the following tips at a time to positively impact your attitude and daily life.

    1. Find some ‘you' time. Everyone needs time alone to meditate and recharge. You may think you don't have extra time in your day. Start with 10-20 minutes to use for meditation or silent reflection.

    2. Ask yourself what you truly want in life. Are you living your life according to your true dreams and desires? You may be unaware of your desires that lie hidden beneath your surface needs and wants, so take the time to find out.

    3. Write everything down. Even if your thought seems silly, write it down! You may be surprised by the inspiration and ideas you can come up with.

    4. Journal daily, but with a twist. Instead of just writing about today, try writing about yesterday.

    5. Keep track of the "happy moments." Each day has potential for many small moments that bring joy and happiness. If you don't make a special note of them, you may not even recognize the small joys in your day.

    6. Choose one task each night to complete the next day. This way, you have focus, and you accomplish at least one task. Tasking and taxing yourself with effort is important in reaching goals.

    7. Smile when you wake up. Smiling is contagious. By smiling you improve your mood and can potentially improve someone else's day as well.

    8. Give thanks each night. Gratitude will improve your outlook on life and help you see all the good and wonderful moments of your day.

    9. Try something new. A new experience fuels creativity and your enjoyment of the day.

    10. Create at least one memorable moment each day. Make each day unforgettable, even if in a small way!

    Taking the next step with a life coach

    Self-coaching tips are great ideas for helping you improve your life. However, you can take your life to the next level with a life coach and mentor. A professional life coach can help you set goals and help you move forward with your dreams. If you're looking for the right path toward happiness, a life coach can help you discover the path your heart truly desires.

    Want to learn more about self-improvement? Bruno LoGreco is a Life Coach Toronto and mentor. Visit BrunoLoGreco.com and find out how to unleash your potential for success and happiness.

    The Success Indicators on Your Life Path

    Many people seek out a particular goal in their life path and are content when they achieve it. The chance to broaden their horizons or learn new things within an existent structure is not as appealing to them as it is to some others. This is an issue that arises in many individuals because they mistakenly think they have achieved what they wanted to in their lives. The plethora of environmental noise around them begins to infringe upon their goals and forces them to lose sight of what they truly wanted.

    A good way to think of this problem is to envision a large square box. This is not just any box though. Rather, in this case, your box has been divided into three separate, but equally shaped rectangular boxes, all stacked on top of one another. Each of these rectangular boxes is a highly important expression of your life goals -- individual levels of success. Within each of these levels of success is an indicator that tells you how close you are to becoming successful in this area of your life.

    Every area of your life that you identify as a potential path for success can be further divided, containing the many different events and obstacles you will encounter as you strive to reach your goals. Think of each sector of your life as being divided even further, with three new sections within one of the three stacked boxes (sectors). Within each stacked box are three separate sections, divided by dotted lines that make up the life path you will follow. These dotted lines are not the same as the solid lines dividing the sectors -- they are a path that you have envisioned since childhood -- a series of goals and pathways to success that you want to follow.

    As young people, these life paths may not be fully formed. Or they might be crystal clear in our minds--long, straight life paths from the early days of college and adult living to the ultimate goal of success that you have always strived for. You can see exactly what you need to do to reach each success indicator and achieve what you have set out to accomplish. And you probably did just this. After all, your goals as a youth were to be successful in the same way that you saw thousands of others live their lives. You wanted to reach your success indicators and experience the measure of success by which you would measure you life for decades to come.

    However, nothing is ever as simple as we envision it during youth. There are countless factors that interfere with your ability to clearly see those success indicators and life paths to success. These factors, or "Environmental Noise," can be detrimental to even the most focused of individuals. Think of what would happen if you dumped the contents of downtown New York into your box and tried to maintain your focus on those goals. Would you even be able to see your life path anymore?

    Everyone must travel their life path with environmental noise inundating them from all sides. It begins to become cloudy. The dotted lines, our life paths, begin to look like the straight lines and the success indicators start to be confused with any number of different distractions.

    And then something will happen and you will realize that you are in fact nowhere near the original success indicators you set for yourself. Everything has changed and yet you are stuck in a way. You are deep within the center of the middle rectangular box and you have no idea which way to go or how to get back on track. The noise only grows louder and you grow dizzy trying to regain your focus.

    It is in this instant that you must clear the noise and return to the basic, almost instinctive mode of thought you experienced as a child. What did you want from life? Where did you want to go? What do you need to get to that point? What was my life path? All of these questions must be asked without the distractions of the world around you muddying up your thought process. When you can revert to a very simple perspective of the world and only spend time thinking of what you want from life, you can be that much more successful.

    You can succeed in life despite the environmental noise, cruising down your life paths and moving through your rectangles with ease, but oftentimes you need a helping hand to clear away the noise and look at life with fresh eyes. There is nothing wrong with asking for help to weed out these distractions and remove the clutter from your life sectors with a professional life coach.

    Is your life path inundated with environmental noise? Learn how you can lift the noise and begin reestablishing your success indicators today. Visit www.brunologreco.com a Life Coach Toronto today.

    Chapters.ca

    Top 10 Benefits to Journaling

    By Bruno Logreco

    There are countless reasons to maintaining a journal. The top ten benefits of journaling may differ from person to person. However, there seems to be general themes that are attractive in the collective unconscious. Many people are looking to daily entries of their personal experiences to reap some of the following rewards.

    Maintaining a journal is a natural way to exercise the brain. People who make regular entries are taking time to develop writing and communication skills that are very valuable in everyday interactions. This mental exercise also helps to allow your thoughts to flow freely.

    Creativity is a second benefit to consider. This is an important aspect of journaling. The right hemisphere of the brain is associated with visual, imaginative and intuitive facets of thought. When you take time to write, you free the right hemisphere. The ideal entry will be one that puts the inner editor on hold. Thoughts and ideas should flow freely and naturally.

    The uninhibited nature of this form of writing serves a third benefit of developing self awareness. People often create different faces to meet various circumstances. We tend to recreate in distinct situations including the work environment, the community and even when at home.

    The process of keeping a journal helps you recognize the various aspects of your unique personality. The growing self awareness is a powerful force that can lead to even greater benefits in the future. Gaining insight into the self is among the most important aspects to maintaining a journal.

    The fourth benefit is the ability to set priorities. Once you get a grasp on the thoughts and emotions that are filtered through your personal experience, you begin to gain control of them. The process eventually leads to a greater understanding of what is and what is not important.

    The ability to re-see the past is another great benefit of keeping a journal. The pages can be revisited with a fresh perspective. It can be very surprising how much your understanding of an event changes over a relatively short period of time. Some writers find great moments of epiphany when rethinking and rereading entries.

    Journaling is a fantastic problem-solving resource. The approach of using entries to come up with various solutions to troubles is a little different than approaches for self awareness and growth. Many people choose temporary brainstorming techniques that serve to give viable solutions to problems.

    The seventh benefit of journaling is variety. You can choose what kind of entries you want to make. Common choices include brainstorming sessions, automatic writing and reflective notes. Personal journal entries can be made upon inspiration, when you first wake or right before you fall asleep. Some choose to do a combination of these.

    Purging is the eighth benefit to this practice. Many people find it helpful to place negative thoughts and feelings down on paper. Once the negative energy is placed on the page, they are free to let it go. This practice also works well when dealing with anger towards another individual. Purge the negativity and work towards a constructive approach.

    The ability to communicate with others is another benefit of keeping a journal. Those who work with life coaches can find a wealth of resources for sessions. Journaling can help you tap into your fears and dreams, helping your coach gain insight through entries that you choose to share.

    The tenth benefit is improvement in your overall health. Journaling reduces stress. It provides time for you to meditate. The process helps to make the positive forces in your life surface and it helps to bring the harmful elements into light. The result of personal journaling is a new perspective on how you can take control of many aspects of your life.

    Want to learn how online journaling can help you reach goals and problem solve? Learn more about life coach Toronto at brunologreco.com and journaling at iijournal.

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