Awareness

On March 25th, 2007 I plotted a new course on my life journey, a course that would take me down a path of self-development and awareness--but not just for myself, for others too... my objective; to share my experiences and knowledge with others, which are traveling through their life journey parallel to mine, striving to reach a level of success within a life sector.

My journey like many other, will be a never-ending journey. A journey that will challenge beliefs, to find answers to questions--questions of my own, and those from the world around me, a journey that I hope will inspire and motivate others to reach their level of success as they pull away from what has been holding them back.

I'm a firm believer of, "practice what you preach," and as a Life Coach, I do a lot of preaching when it comes to self-awareness.

This past weekend was my goddaughter’s third birthday, and my sister-in-law threw a birthday party for her. The usual suspects would be invited, family and friends with children. My brother is incredible generous man that would take the shirt off his back for a stranger in need, and will do just about anything for anyone, especially my mother.

Growing up my brother to me felt like he was the favorite. I’m sure I made up many stories in my head to self-validate to make myself feel better about any situation in which I found myself feeling bad for me. This would not become clearer in my head until this past weekend at my goddaughters birthday.

I arrived early Sunday afternoon, a few hours in advance of any guests arriving. My intention was to spend some time with my niece and nephew before they were entrenched in child play with the other children. When I arrived my brother’s mood was somber. Of course it would be, the past few visits I’ve arrived looking for a reason to be invalided by my family… and guess what? You always get what you go looking for, so I could see why my brother’s guard was up.

I did intentionally go looking for a reason to be invalided the past few visits. I wanted to follow my awareness--I wanted to learn how the ego mind operated and how a thought could evoke a feeling that triggers an emotion. I wrote about becoming aware of your behaviors some time ago in a blog posting called Awareness.

A few months ago I wanted to learn more about emotions and behavior. I thought I could learn about the ego mind and emotions based on a thought that my brother was the favorite. This was a belief I carried most of my life. We are only two siblings.

One Sunday afternoon my brother invited us over for lunch, I decided to show up with a different agenda. (DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME) I decided to set course to find a reason to believe and justify my thought that my brother is the favorite of the two of us. My energy as arrived at my brother’s house was that of a hungry person starving for validation. I observed and listened and judged each word as it was spoken between my brother and my parents and within minutes my expectations were rising as I sat quietly waiting to be validated by my parents. That validation never came, and shortly after my arrival, I was furious and angry, (Self was watching from the sidelines) as I exploded into anger and opted to vacate.

I found exactly what I was looking for that Sunday afternoon and from that day on I witnessed, only because I was looking for it, my parents favoring my brother

Back in the middle of June I finished learning all I wanted to learn about thought provoking emotions. I was ready to return to the now in every aspect of my life. I knew I had to reverse the energy I set off into the universe a few months ago.

Sunday afternoon at my goddaughter’s birthday party, I let it all go, releasing a positive energy into the universe, accepting what is, not judging what isn't. It felt like old times with my family. I was happy as usual, my mother complained about the usual, my father issued his harmless jokes, and slowly but surely my brother started to come around, laughing and engaging in the many conversations. My brother’s guard crumbled, as he relaxed and enjoyed the afternoon and into the evening, as my goddaughter celebrated her third birthday with good friends and family.

Awareness

Celebrate The Victories

A lot has transpired this past week - in addition to the previous days in which I decided to take time off - Yet I have not been able to stop and write about my experiences. This is a point in my life where I recognize, that I must slow down and refocus before I forget. The past few days have been exciting--I've made tremendous gains both professional and personally.

Last night I hosted my first Entrepreneur Seminar for the city of Richmond Hill - My insecurities were tested yet again as they have been in the past. I was able to stand before an audience and deliver an Inspiring and motivational seminar on how to become an Entrepreneur. For those that follow this blog, they will know that I once had a fear for public speaking, and the thought of such an engagement would send me into frenzy. I won’t say I was not nervous this past week leading up to the event, but I did not, not even once, become nervous at the thought of speaking to an audience.

Last night I spoke again, only this time I did not memorize what I was going to say, I did not pretend to be somebody else, nor did I think there were unknown expectation put on me. I didn't sweat, I didn't stutter, I didn't get nervous - I was clear, precise and my message was delivered and received the way I had envisioned it would be.

Today I'm going to slow down and celebrate the victories of this past week.

Happy Friday!

Celebrate The Victories

Negative Self-Talk

95% of people's actions are automatic and only 5% of the actions come from conscious thinking. Negative self-talk comes from the subconscious, which is the 95% of the automatic actions. But why would the subconscious put negative thoughts into our thought process? Because people unknowingly have been collecting self-imposing limitation their entire lives, creating barriers, negative self-talk, that only they can tear down.

A person will recognize when negative self-talk takes over their thoughts. It sounds like this:
• I can’t do this
• I’m not good enough
• I don't deserve this
• I’ve never done this before
• I'm going to fail
• They are all better than I am
• Somebody else could do this better than me

How does a person learn to break the negative self-talk?

1. First you must become aware of your negative self-talk. When you become aware of your negative self-talk, in a journal or a secure online journal write what the situation is.

2. Write whatever self-imposed limitation you are putting on yourself.

3. Ask yourself the following questions for each negative self-talk you write:

a. What am I telling myself?
b. What facts do I have that support my self-imposed limitation?
c. Why do I believe what it is I think about myself?
d. Are my thoughts a result of me trying to maintain control?
e. Are my thoughts a result of me being afraid of judgment?

4. Read back what you wrote and repeat the process for each negative self-imposing limitation you’ve put on yourself.

5. Practice becoming aware of your negative self-talk

Master Life Coach, Toronto Native Bruno LoGreco

Negative Self-Talk

Self-Esteem

How many times in your life have you been talked to about self-esteem? In school, at work, by your friends, by your family – self-esteem is the panacea that can cure many of life’s problems but when you have issues with your self-esteem all those speeches from those closest to you can serve only to compound the problems you are having and make you feel even more inferior.

The first step, rather than saying ‘I have low self-esteem and need to combat it’ is to truly understand your mindset and what that low self esteem does in your life. Self-esteem is more than a buzzword thrown around by counselors – it is a way of being, of thinking and acting. Self esteem is how you accept, trust, and believe in yourself. When you accept yourself, you learn to live comfortably with your personal strengths and weaknesses regardless and outside of any criticism you receive.

This means first of all that you view yourself independently of how others view you. Instead of worrying about assimilating with a static world view, you value your uniqueness in the world and start respecting yourself in the same way you would anyone around you. There is no reason to treat other people better than you treat yourself and that is the core to building self worth.

You must understand how to trust in your beliefs and behaviors, knowing that your feelings are correct and that when they are consistent enough, you can bring inner peace to your life despite the external noise and judgments that constantly inundate you from all around. You must believe not only that you can succeed but that you deserve to succeed as much as anyone around you. Many people, when they suffer from self-esteem have a misguided belief that they do not deserve to be successful or happy in life. This kind of fallacy is not only unhealthy to your self-esteem, it can throw your mind into chaos and keep you from ever achieving any sense of peace.

Sourcing Low Self-Esteen

First, you must understand where low self-esteem comes from. There are multiple sources, all creating a sense of emptiness that can lead to depression, anxiety, and a lack of control. Instead of searching inside, individuals with low self esteem grasp at external things and voices to fill that void, never actually finding a solution – only finding temporary external validation that can flee at any moment. This type of behavior can also lead to an addictive personality that relies on drugs and alcohol to cloud over that need. Under the influence of these mood altering substances, individuals with low self esteem can more readily accept themselves, but the effect is only temporary until their inhibitions and the truth of their situation comes rushing back.

Depression, hopelessness and stagnation all develop due to low self esteem, killing any vision or dreams an individual may have, making that individual a victim of their environment in a way that is insurmountable when environmental noise reaches a certain point.

Sourcing High Self Esteem

Those with high self-esteem have a completely different outlook on life, feeling good about themselves and about life in general. They find tasks easier and are more resourceful when attempting to complete a task because they know they can succeed, even while stretching outside of their comfort zone. This willingness to think outside the box makes these individuals more creative, more powerful, and more capable of making life choices while accepting the challenges that lie just around the corner. They are calmer inside and yet more confident that they can make changes in their lives and succeed in doing so.

Self Esteem is the quintessential starting point for any form of success in life. Those with high self esteem and a positive self image are able to realize their potential and live their dreams out in a way that they never could have before. They more readily find balance in their life throughout all five pillars and ultimately synchronization with the universe and harmony in their mind, body, and soul.

Master Life Coach, Toronto based Bruno LoGreco

Self-Esteem

He's Back...

I guess I could consider the past ten days as a vacation - Very little work happened--lots of down time, no reading, no thinking, not much of anything happened mentally during my vacation. I took in lots of inspiration; nature, life, love, new behaviors, and with all vacations an interesting story to share with the readers of this blog, with hopes that everybody will take something from the story.

Lots of topics to write about over the next few days but for today - today is about saying hello and wishing everybody well on this bright sunny Monday.

Bruno

He's Back...

Returning On Monday

I will be returning on Monday June 23

Returning On Monday

Away for a few days

I will be away for a few days - Please come back soon

Away for a few days

My Dilemma

I have a thought or two that I might want to share with you
It could be about nothing or it could be about everything
But I do know I have an urge to share it with you

I'm not sure how it will sound to you
Now I'm uncertain I want to share it with you
Maybe I'll share it today but if not definitely tomorrow
or how about another day

It really isn't such a big thing
Its really not about much
so I don't know what the big deal is anyway

Here...You decide

It's about what I see, or the things I'm not seeing
Its about the things I've seen, or the things I missed to see
It's about what I know is there, or what really isn't there
It's about what I think I know or about what I really don't know

Do you see my dilemma
I'm not sure how it will sound to you
Now I'm uncertain I want to share it with you
Definitely not today but come back tomorrow
or how about another day

My Dilemma

Life Coaching

As a Life Coach I have many techniques I deploy when working with a client. The techniques I choose will vary depending on my clients. What works for one person may not work for another--one's comfort level and understanding for coaching methods will differ from that of another person. One client will want to learn how to get from point A to point B, while another will want to become aware of their Being, and live a life of clarity and self-acceptance.

My first objective when meeting a new client is to quickly adapt my energy to that of my client, and to learn the best delivery method to deliver the coaching concepts, so that they can relate and understand the ideas which I present to them. Once I have earned my clients trust, I begin to deploy the tools needed to address their needs. Together we clarify their true wants and needs based on their evaluation and questionnaire. Often times what a person thinks they want and what they really want are two different things.

The assessment and questionnaire provide me with a wealth of information about my client, including potential focus areas. A focus area is what I consider an area of a person’s life that could potentially be holding them back from achieving their ultimate goals. Sometimes it’s necessary to reveal the roadblock (focus areas) before a person can see what is holding them back from achieving their goals. With their focus areas exposed, clients become more aware of their behaviors and attempt to modify them, and or begin the acceptance process.

It is not unheard for a client after three or four sessions to begin resisting their life coach. Negative self-talk fill their head (This isn’t working – This isn’t for me – I’m not getting anything out of this.) Experience will come into play when this occurs and it will be up to the Life Coach to counter their negative self-talk with positive reinforcement and to effectively communicate with the client so that they understand what you are attempting to do and to reinforce that you are there to provide support and guidance through their transition.

Negative self-talk is the Ego at play trying to stay alive--after all, Ego is a living entity in a human body and it too wants to survive-- A life coach threatens the Ego's lively hood.

I have learned with experience that the best approach to counter a client’s Ego is explain what the session will be about, the overall session objective, and what they can anticipate to get out of the session. This will prevent your client from reacting and filling their head with negative self-talk as you go through the process.

Bruno LoGreco Life Coach Toronto

Life Coaching

Fear

Many people deal with irrational fear daily. How does a person develop a fear that is irrational in the first place? Is it because of a traumatic event that happened in a persons past, is it from watching TV, or is fear part of our genetic makeup?

Many fears and phobias are irrational and pose no immediate danger, yet a person feels unsafe from the inside. Aware of the irrational behavior, they cannot control their behavior and begin to avoid encounters with what ever they fear, resulting in a phobia.

Acrophobia is the fear for heights – Not long ago I faced one of my fears that was quicky becoming a phobia. Driving is my main method of transportation and bridges are part of our roads everywhere. I knew I had to conquer my fear or my fear would conquer me.

What happens when a persons concedes to fear? Fear begins to build onto the fear, eventually paralyzing a person from completing a task. The person slowly begins to avoid being in a situation where they would be faced with their fear--anytime they succeed in avoiding their fear, they experience a sense of relief--they make a mental note of the sensation, recalling the sensation at any possible thought of the fear popping up, creating total avoidance of the situation. New fears begin to emerge, restricting the person from other aspects of their life. Soon after they’re confidence slowly dwindles, creating even more fears until they are completely isolated and protected within their own home.

How to overcome fear before it conquers you:

1. Acknowledge your fear
2. Recognize the fear is irrational and poses no danger
3. Ask yourself what would happen if you did complete the task regardless of the fear
4. Set a date
5. Visualize yourself succeeding
6. On the date set – Complete task
7. Write down what you learned from the experience
8. Read back what you wrote about your experience

Bruno LoGreco a Life Coach Toronto

Fear

Day Off

Day Off

Have You Ever Taken a Moment?

to think about me?
Who am I?
What am I?
How and why me?

Have you ever taken a moment
to ask me a question about me?
What makes me happy?
What is my purpose?
What is my dream?

Have you ever taken a moment
to ask me what I want to be?
What do I want?
What am I good at?
What builds my self esteem?

Have you ever taken a moment
to allow me to just be?
To feel the air around me?
To feel the energy of the universe?
To feel the energy within me?

Have you ever taken a moment
to allow me to see
The choices I have made
The life I have lived
The lessons I have learned


Have you ever taken a moment?

Have You Ever Taken a Moment?

Confusion

Confusion

Involuntary Defeat Strategy (IDS)

Often times, depression and anxiety can be closely linked to one another. A person whom experienced losses, defeat, or rejection in their past (low positive effect), will likely also experience anxiety (high negative effect). The more sever the depression, the higher the anxiety. Low depression is attributed to attachments, while higher levels of depression are contributed to social ranking.

A person with low positive effect will feel inferior to his or her peers within the same social environment, feeling submissive and often times defeated in any social competition. That's because in any social competition a hierarchy does exists--peers rating and perceiving each other.

A study completed by a professor at the University of Toronto showed that any time people come together in a group, a hierarchy will exist, and the ranking of each person becomes predictable, based on the people with lowest positive effect. Predictability was based on the ability for a person to hold positive attraction--how prominent, respected, influential, a person is--how likable are they?

The lower on the social ranking a person is, the higher the level of depression they may experience--feeling anxious, trapped and unable to escape from their social environment, retreating to themselves with no support from family, friends or peers, feeling a sense of rejection.

IDS is the social rank competition theory (Gilbert, 2000; Sloman, 2000) which contributes depression to the inability for a person to terminate IDS at the end of a social rank competition. Everyday millions of North American's deal with the social pressures of society and fight to be part of and or hold a position in their social environment.

Overcome depression by getting along with those around you and in time you too will get ahead and on top of the social rank.

Bruno LoGreco Master Life Coach and Mentor - Life Coach Toronto

Involuntary Defeat Strategy (IDS)